AFGO (look it up)

This post is a little harsh. If you are going to read it, please read the whole thing and try to recognize that I am one perspective in the situation. I am simply trying to make sense of my experience and I recognize other people involved have experienced it in other ways.
We met with the vice president of Arcadia and the head of CEA (whose name I won’t mention because this is a public blog – not that you can’t figure it out) today and, at the risk of sounding dramatic, it was pretty bad. Definitely the one “cultural experience” that I have had since I got here that I really wish I hadn’t.
I’ll start at the beginning (or kind of). Yesterday we asked her if we could have a meeting with her in private. Martha was not in the room and it was in no way rude. She got flustered, stand-off-ish, and rudely ran out saying she would see us at the dinner tonight. We tried not to be discouraged because she was right, we would see her at the dinner. At the dinner we didn’t get a chance alone with her and at the end we jumped on the opportunity of being around her and asked her again, insistently, for a meeting. It was uncomfortable because Martha was in the room (I don’t know if she heard), but we have been in a lot of situations where we conveniently don’t get a chance to talk to other resources alone. So, we weren’t very tactful but we felt we had no other choice. We also felt like we had a right to meet with her alone.
Today we met with her. We started off the meeting (I did) saying how grateful we were for the experience of coming to Tanzania and some nice stuff. I segued with something like, “That being said, there have been some issues that you may or may not have heard about…but the main issue is that we don’t feel we have any resource available to us that we can go to.” She jumped right in with something like, “Oh I know why we are here.” She said that she knew about the letter. You three have seen the letter, and one woman at Arcadia has seen the letter. I am pretty sure that everyone was instructed to keep it to them selves, and I think (we are checking) that everyone did. So she must have been mistaken or simply trying to discredit us.
After I gave that little introduction she told us that we had embarrassed ourselves, her, and ALL OF AMERICA by how we had acted last night after dinner. Now, we may have appeared to not have tact, but we did not embarrass ourselves, especially considering how Martha has acted towards others and us in the past. This woman had decided who we were (young American kids who don’t want to accept that we can’t have everything handed to us), and what the problem was (cultural differences and suffering from “group think” – no joke…and she looked at me as if I were the ring leader when she told us that) before she came into the meeting.
There are some issues she might resolve, which is good (they are primarily academic, although we also need some American money to renew our visas). Really, though, she was patronizing and rude. She talked for a really long time about how hard it must be to be in one of the “poorest countries in the world” and not feel like we can do anything about it. That isn’t the issue at all. Yes, we have had those experiences come up, but we don’t expect people from Arcadia to talk to us about that. Honestly, I feel like the fact that she refuses to see Martha as anything but wonderful is really patronizing towards Martha. Ok, I’m going to try and stop talking about her like this.
Possibly the most offensive part of the meeting was when we were talking about the photography class needing another camera (doesn’t sound like a big deal, but it is because they were told they didn’t need to bring their cameras). She asked how much it would be, took out $100 from her purse, pushed it towards us and said, “There, that should go a long way…that’s my contribution to the program.” And she acts like we represent America badly! She literally threw money at the situation. We made it clear that we just don’t have any way to get a camera on our own and that we didn’t want the money. Throwing money at us was offensive both coming from someone who is an authority figure (it was almost like she was buying us off), and coming from an American accusing us of not understanding Tanzania while wearing a skirt suite that was, in my oppinion, too tight and short for a largely Muslim, conservative city.
Now, of course we have had problems dealing with the culture here. Of course it isn’t Arcadia’s job to baby us. I am 100% confident, though, in my ability to adapt and my persistent attempts to uncover my own cultural biases. What is happening here is not because I – or anyone on this program – is having “cultural” problems. We all love Arusha and recognize when we are struggling because things are different. The problems here are with the fact that we have paid thousands of dollars (not even that…just the fact that we are students trying to work with Arcadia) and don’t even have someone who pretends to listen to us.
I could go on and on, but I’m not going to. I feel embarrassed and guilty because it got turned back around on us and some of it really hit the spot (I mean, I am a young idealistic American). I just don’t like the fact that she managed to turn Martha into a victim because Martha is just as much of an intelligent adult as she is. I’m happy, though, because I have heard so many other Peace Studies majors that graduated complain about not having ever been shown how to deal with people in the “real world.” I’m lucky enough to experience and learn to work with the difficult side of people – and America - while I am here. I feel like I have tried my best to transform the situation and now I’m just going to work with Martha as best I can and make the most of things.
I’m really nervous that we could have done something differently or that the problems really are all ours. I’m pretty sure that it doesn’t really matter, though, because we didn’t manage to get her to see beyond what she had already decided about us before we got there (and we wouldn’t have been able to no matter how right or wring we were). Of course, I could be way off base on that, but that’s the way it appeared. I feel a little better knowing that the one professor that pointed out our age and American-ness the most is also the one that is most vocal about how he isn’t going to work for the program again (because of the way it’s run). It’s a shame for future students, but at least it gives me a little confidence that I’m not crazy.

I just received an email from the woman we met with as I was writing this. She is following up on some of the issues, and that is good, although I don’t think it excuses the meeting yesterday.
I feel weird posting all of this online, but I’m trying to be honest about the experience I am having here and I think that this particular moment is one that will be largely influential in how I approach situations in the future. I don’t know how yet, but it will.
All the Best,
Sarah