I’m back in Arusha! It’s only been five days, but we managed to fit so much in that I feel like it’s been a year. On Sunday we got up and left at 6 am. The bus came to our hotel where the 8 of us met with Martha (our program coordinator), the driver, a friend of the photography professor who came to take pictures (he was nice but the picture taking was not very welcomed at 6 in the morning), and Frank who the son of our tour organizer. He goes to university in Nairobi but took the week off and came with us instead.
The first place we went was Tanga. It is on the coast, about three hours north of Dar Es Salaam. It took around 5 hours to get there with a stop for lunch in the middle, and the drive was beautiful. There aren’t a lot of roads here (in fact it’s pretty much just one regular two-way street the entire way) so it takes a lot longer to get anywhere than it would at home. The scenery is absolutely beautiful, though, and the villages that we passed through on the way were really cool to see. I started the vacation off right by leaving my camera battery at home, so I didn’t take any pictures. It sounds rough, but it actually meant that everyone else was taking pictures and I just got to experience it all.
We freaked out when we got to our hotel in Tanga because even though it wasn’t that nice relative to hotels in the States, it had air conditioning! And the beds were comfortable and the room was really pretty! So, we settled in there and then went to these caves that Tanga is famous for. On the way we stopped at an orphanage, which was interesting. Our professors/coordinators don’t seem to understand the concept of exploiting people. That sounds harsh, but we literally stopped into this orphanage (without them telling us first) to look at the kids on the way to our vacation. I can kind of get the idea of showing us a good place to volunteer, but the man running it gave us a talk and then our photographer had us take pictures of the kids. Honestly, we didn’t do anything for the kids, or even know their names. We don’t have the right to have a picture with them that Arcadia (our school) can use for their website. Sorry, tangent…but that made me really, really upset. I’m going to talk to Martha about it, though.
On a lighter note the caves were so sweet! They connect for miles and miles to other cities and are supposedly haunted. I climbed up a vine (or maybe a root since we were underground). There were tons of bats flying all around us. For dinner we went to go swim at this restaurant on the water. We got there, all ready to swim in our (now I can see) extremely skimpy bathing suites, and found hundreds of guys swimming. There was literally not a single other white person there. I saw maybe five girls and all but one were swimming almost fully dressed. I was really hot, though, so I basically told my friends to speak up quickly if they wanted to leave because I wanted to get in. I wore a tank top over my suite and just ran from our table to the water. It was so worth it! It seemed so much more buoyant than the water at home and the sun set while we were floating around.
We woke up at 5 the next day and drove to Dar Es Salaam where we took the boat to Zanzibar. This is where the real adventures began. First, we missed the ferry. It wasn’t that big of a deal, but we were all tired, cranky, and unimaginably hot. I mean…Dar and Zanzibar are hands down the hottest places I have ever been, EVER. We eventually got on the ferry and I sat with Frank. I looked up at the movie that was playing at one point and it was Congo. I don’t know if that is a popular movie, but from what it looked like it’s pretty offensive and a bizarre choice for a ferry in East Africa.
I forgot to mention a detail earlier: we didn’t bring our passports. Now, Zanzibar is part of Tanzania so we wouldn’t need them, right? We are well-trained young Americans, and we have always been taught to leave our passports in a safe place in the hotel unless we absolutely need them. Well, apparently we needed them. Martha says she assumed that it was common sense to bring them (people who aren’t Tanzanian don’t think so I don’t think). Needless to say, we got to Zanzibar but didn’t get into Zanzibar right away. It took about an hour of Frank, Martha, and our tour guide (who apparently knew the guys) to convince the border control to let us in under the condition that the three of them would go to jail if anything bad happened.
The first two nights in Zanzibar we stayed at a hostel that used to be…a church? Or something like that. It’s built on top of what used to be chambers that kept slaves before they were sold. The church next door was built on the whipping platform. We got a tour and it was really interesting to compare our slave trade to the one that affected East Africa (if you separate them). That first day in Zanzibar we went on a walking tour of Stone Town, which was really cool and yet extremely hot. It’s a beautiful city where Arab sultans built palaces. Now it is kind of falling apart and it only costs $10 a month to rent and apartment! I briefly considered moving there for the summer, but decided against it because I would feel far too guilty living in such a beautiful place without anything productive to do at this point in my life.
After the tour we went on a tour of some spice farms. Spices are huge in Zanzibar, and the farm we toured was essentially a forest and a bunch of neighborhoods with spices that grow everywhere. I think I met some of the nicest people I have ever met. It rained in the middle of the tour so we waited around under a hut and I talked to one of the guys. We compared what I grow on the farm at home and what he grows here and how all of it works. It was so cool!
That night some of us walked – yes, at night, we walked outside at night – to a bar down the street. It was kind of empty due to the fact that it was Monday, but it was so awesome to be outside at night and not be afraid of being robbed! Arusha isn’t the best for Mzungu at night so freedom of movement is a luxury. We did have a bit of a scare on the way back, though, when Sara, Alainna, Frank, and I accidentally didn’t read a street sign that said not to walk where we were walking. These two police officers with giant guns stopped us and started talking to Frank in Swahili. I figured out what was going on and they made Frank walk back and read the sign, but there were a few minutes there where I had all sorts of police brutality stories flashing through my head and was planning what to do if they were going to shoot Frank. We made it through, though.
After spending two nights in Stone Town we got up early again and drove north to Nungwi, which is at the Northern tip of the island. It is weird because our hostel was pretty much in a residential neighborhood (and thinking of it full of tourists in high season seemed bizarre), but it was pretty and there were lots of school kids running around and playing with us. I had one of the best days ever there. We started off hanging out on the beach (look up Zanzibar in google images…there are no words) in the water and the sun and on the hammocks at the bar. Then we jumped off this little cliff with some of the local teenagers that were hanging around. In the late afternoon we took a sunset ride on a traditional sailboat. We went snorkeling, jumped off the boat, and then one of the guys (about sailors came with us) got us up dancing. At sunset we watched the horizon and then mooned a huge crowd of tourists that were on shore. Looking back, that may have been a bit disrespectful, but it was also hilarious and I’m not sure anyone saw us.
After dinner we went back to the beach and hung out under the stars for the evening. It made me think about how in the cities, or even just areas more developed than East Africa, you can’t see the stars at night. I wonder how much impact that has on our psyches, or even just on how we view ourselves in relation to our environments. At home I can sometimes see the stars clearly, but I am not constantly aware of how small I am. It would be interesting to do a study on people based on how well they can see the stars (and maybe whether or not they are religious).
Overall it was a wonderful trip and I really enjoyed seeing different parts of Tanzania. Zanzibar is almost a whole different country. The call to prayer was much louder there (because it’s something like 90% Muslim) and I thought the guy might be singing in my room at 5:30 in the morning. The people in Zanzibar treated me a little differently…I guess maybe they weren’t as pushy? I don’t know if it’s because their livelihood is less dependent on me buying things or if it’s because they see white people more often. I definitely have gotten to the point where I am not constantly aware of being white anymore. I sometimes notice when I see another white person, but for the most part race is much less of an issue for me than it was when I got here.
I think the part of the trip that had the most impact on me was the drive through the country. I got to be in neighborhoods with houses made out of mud and sticks and realize that I still look at people who live here through a set of standards that come from home, don’t apply here, and don’t necessarily need to apply at home either. For instance, front yards. I realized that subconsciously I largely view wealth through how a house looks from the outside (as much as I don’t want to admit that). In the States we all dress up our houses with nice front yards for our neighbors to see and our kids to play in. Here front yards are used for the animals to graze or vegetables to grow. It doesn’t really make sense to paint houses because it’s so dusty that they get really dirty anyway. And if it’s hot out why do you need a thick front door? I think my point is the same one that I made a few posts ago. It’s so easy to walk around here feeling bad for people because they “have so much less.” Sometimes that is the case, but I think usually it is more the case that things are just so different. What people have is different, and not everyone’s goal is to have a pretty front yard and painted house.
Until Next Time,
Sarah
Saturday, March 28, 2009
Saturday, March 21, 2009
Free!
I feel like most of this blog has been me talking about myself. It's weird, though, because most of the stuff I have learned has been about myself. That could be because being in a new place lets you see things you have never noticed before, or because the other stuff I am learning is so intense that I can't process it fast enough to really know what I am learning yet (that's pretty likely). This may sound like a lesson I should have learned in the seventh grade, but really, I am the only person I have to deal with for the rest of my life. My opinion of myself is the only one that is going to follow me around. I'm realizing that I actually have opinions and I'm fairly assertive - both qualities that I for some reason used to think didn't work with being "the nice girl" all the time. But my actions usually don't affect people as much as I think and their opinions don't follow me around. What I am getting at is that I think it's important to have a moral code that you don't compromise because you are afraid of what other people think of you. That sounds simplistic but I doubt that most people have ever really sat down and thought about what beliefs they have that they don't want to compromise for anything. I don't even know if most people (or if I) have things that they don't compromise. But...Midterms are over so I have time to think too much about stuff!
The other day I was riding the dala-dala watching everything go by out the window, and it hit me that people in the US (including myself) have this picture in their minds about poor children in Africa. I was watching the kids playing in the mud with ripped clothes and no shoes and realized, why would they wear nicer clothes or shoes while they were playing outside? Aid commercials show videos of kids playing in the mud and getting all dirty and we think, "Look at those poor uncivilized kids," but thats what kids do. They don't wear shoes or nicer clothes because it's hot out and it doesn't make sense if they are playing outside in the mud.
Midterms are over and we are going on our trip tomorrow!
Sarah
The other day I was riding the dala-dala watching everything go by out the window, and it hit me that people in the US (including myself) have this picture in their minds about poor children in Africa. I was watching the kids playing in the mud with ripped clothes and no shoes and realized, why would they wear nicer clothes or shoes while they were playing outside? Aid commercials show videos of kids playing in the mud and getting all dirty and we think, "Look at those poor uncivilized kids," but thats what kids do. They don't wear shoes or nicer clothes because it's hot out and it doesn't make sense if they are playing outside in the mud.
Midterms are over and we are going on our trip tomorrow!
Sarah
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Midterms
The rainy season is supposed to have started, but it has only rained a few times in the past month. Granted, when it rains, it rains. Right now the sky is getting dark, the wind is picking up, and the rain is starting to fall. Seeing as there is a predominantly agrarian economy in Arusha, it isn't seen as a bad thing. Rain brings life. I love the rain, so I'm really excited for the rainy season to really pick up :)
This week all of my midterms are happening, so by writing this blog I'm procrastinating. I have a lot of work, but it's nothing compared to Goucher. I have actually gotten to read for pleasure this semester, and it has helped a lot when I really need to escape for a little while. I started by reading "The Great Awakening: A Buddhist Social Theory" by David Loy. It's really great and cool to read while I am making sense of a new culture. I'm not done, but I started Thoreau's "Walden" because Sara brought it and I'm catching up with her so that we can discuss it. Favorite Thoreau quote so far: As if you could kill time without injuring eternity.
Despite my being mildly stressed out about midterms, I'm really excited because so many adventures are on the horizon! After this week I will only have three classes for the rest of the semester. Next week we are going to Zanzibar (and Tanga, Dar Es Salaam, and Bagamoyo) for our spring break. I have been doing a lot of research about surf spots because I really, really want to go surfing. I emailed a bunch of people and it sounds like it will be hit or miss, but that's exciting because searching for surf spots is one of the best parts of surfing. Even if we don't find anything, I am really looking forward to seeing the ocean and (as much as I don't want to admit it) doing touristy things.
Two weekends from this one I am going with some of my classmates to stay in a Maasai village for the weekend. One of my classmates at my Makumira College music class is from the village and my music professor set us up with this trip. He also is planning a trip to go stay near Mt. Kilimanjaro with the Chagga people, a different tribe from East of Arusha. Dad is coming to visit (hopefully) in a few weeks, which is also really exciting!
Yesterday a music group from the Wahaya tradition performed for my music class and it was (no surprise) pretty incredible. They drummed and danced and I have the whole thing on video. I even got up and danced with them for part of it! I'm determined to get really good at dancing while I am here.
I found out that next semester I am going to be able to take Intermediate Swahili at Johns Hopkins, which means that I will get to fulfill my language requirements with Swahili and not forget everything I learn this semester.
Letters to many of you are long overdue, but I will have plenty of time on my 9 hour drive to Tanga on Sunday. If I don't have your address and you want a postcard or a letter, send me your address! I will hopefully write more before I leave for Zanzibar, but until then, I hope all is well at home.
Sarah
"In any weather, at any hour of the day or night, I have been anxious to improve the nick of time, and notch it on my stick too; to stand on the meeting of two eternities, the past and future, which is precisely the present moment; to toe that line." - Thoreau
This week all of my midterms are happening, so by writing this blog I'm procrastinating. I have a lot of work, but it's nothing compared to Goucher. I have actually gotten to read for pleasure this semester, and it has helped a lot when I really need to escape for a little while. I started by reading "The Great Awakening: A Buddhist Social Theory" by David Loy. It's really great and cool to read while I am making sense of a new culture. I'm not done, but I started Thoreau's "Walden" because Sara brought it and I'm catching up with her so that we can discuss it. Favorite Thoreau quote so far: As if you could kill time without injuring eternity.
Despite my being mildly stressed out about midterms, I'm really excited because so many adventures are on the horizon! After this week I will only have three classes for the rest of the semester. Next week we are going to Zanzibar (and Tanga, Dar Es Salaam, and Bagamoyo) for our spring break. I have been doing a lot of research about surf spots because I really, really want to go surfing. I emailed a bunch of people and it sounds like it will be hit or miss, but that's exciting because searching for surf spots is one of the best parts of surfing. Even if we don't find anything, I am really looking forward to seeing the ocean and (as much as I don't want to admit it) doing touristy things.
Two weekends from this one I am going with some of my classmates to stay in a Maasai village for the weekend. One of my classmates at my Makumira College music class is from the village and my music professor set us up with this trip. He also is planning a trip to go stay near Mt. Kilimanjaro with the Chagga people, a different tribe from East of Arusha. Dad is coming to visit (hopefully) in a few weeks, which is also really exciting!
Yesterday a music group from the Wahaya tradition performed for my music class and it was (no surprise) pretty incredible. They drummed and danced and I have the whole thing on video. I even got up and danced with them for part of it! I'm determined to get really good at dancing while I am here.
I found out that next semester I am going to be able to take Intermediate Swahili at Johns Hopkins, which means that I will get to fulfill my language requirements with Swahili and not forget everything I learn this semester.
Letters to many of you are long overdue, but I will have plenty of time on my 9 hour drive to Tanga on Sunday. If I don't have your address and you want a postcard or a letter, send me your address! I will hopefully write more before I leave for Zanzibar, but until then, I hope all is well at home.
Sarah
"In any weather, at any hour of the day or night, I have been anxious to improve the nick of time, and notch it on my stick too; to stand on the meeting of two eternities, the past and future, which is precisely the present moment; to toe that line." - Thoreau
Saturday, March 14, 2009
Kwenda na Jifunza
I may not have mentioned this before, but one of the major reasons that I chose to come to Tanzania instead of somewhere in Western Africa is that it is almost the closest I could get to the East side of the Democratic Republic of Congo. A lot of my interest in Africa grew out of my interest in the civil war that is happening there. Being so much closer to it, I am realizing that it can be ignored whether there is an ocean between you and it or not. You need to seek out the information and education that you want to get about something. I came here knowing that when I come home I have a responsibility to share what I have learned with the people back home, and I’m slowly trying to figure out what the best way to do that will be.
I can start by suggesting that everyone reading this be proactive in educating themselves about certain conflicts that don’t get covered in the media. They don’t get covered because our major news sources are backed by something like six major corporations and that is it. This of course means that the information is inevitably filtered by what is in the interest of those corporations (I’m not necessarily trying to bash those corporations – yet – I’m just saying that obviously if you are paying for something you are going to want to have a say in what happens with it). The conflict in Congo is one such conflict that gets little to no coverage in American or European media.
The war happening in DRC right now is the worst war since WWII. More than 5 million people have died, and systematic rape is one of the primary methods. The country is blessed with some of the greatest natural resources in the world, but because of that, everyone wants some of it. The major resource that is being exploited is something that is in our cell phones and can only be found in DRC (a little in Australia, but only a very little). The corporations that make the cell phones, and in fact the people that buy cells phones (us), depend on the instability of the region to get cheap access to the mineral. That is only a very brief run-down of only on aspect of the conflict (it’s very complicated), but my point is that we are all interconnected. We all play a role in what is happening there and need to be aware of it. This website gives some good background information: http://www.globalissues.org/article/87/the-democratic-republic-of-congo
On a lighter note, yesterday was pretty much amazing. I went back to the Maasai girl’s school that I went to last week, and this time I brought Alainna, Melendy, Rose, and Sara. We got a tour when we got there and then Kate (the lady giving us the tour) brought us into the classroom and had the girls sing some songs they had been working on. I pretty much started crying. These girls are so wonderful and the sing so loudly (music is so different from the States here).
I can’t help the gnawing doubt that I have about how good it is for young girls to see white people coming in and “helping” them and then leaving. Like, there are plenty of teachers here, what role am I trying to play? But I also feel like this is a place where I can learn and they can learn and we can all just have fun together. We played outside after they sang. There are 84-ish of them and only two soccer balls, so we ended up breaking up into smaller groups and basically broke out into song. We started by teaching them something like the hokey-pokey, which was fun but … why would they need to learn the hokey-pokey? So I asked them if they could teach us something. Oh shit, it was crazy. They were singing these beautiful songs and doing these dance moves I can’t describe…it was awesome. And they taught me some! I got a lot of high-fives because I think I could almost do it. It was sweet because really, their dancing is what I try and get everyone to do with me at school. They make a circle and people go in and out and it’s so fun. Basically, I’m in love. If I can find a way to video or record the singing and dancing without feeling like I’m exploiting their welcome, I will. I’m going to try and spend as much time there as possible and get really good at Kiswahili and maybe learn some Maasai.
I hope everything is going well at home…I guess spring break is right around now? Be safe and make the most of everything! I miss you all, but as one of my favorite quotes by Tennessee Williams says, “Time is the longest distance between two places,” and I will be home in 11 weeks!
Love,
Sarah
I can start by suggesting that everyone reading this be proactive in educating themselves about certain conflicts that don’t get covered in the media. They don’t get covered because our major news sources are backed by something like six major corporations and that is it. This of course means that the information is inevitably filtered by what is in the interest of those corporations (I’m not necessarily trying to bash those corporations – yet – I’m just saying that obviously if you are paying for something you are going to want to have a say in what happens with it). The conflict in Congo is one such conflict that gets little to no coverage in American or European media.
The war happening in DRC right now is the worst war since WWII. More than 5 million people have died, and systematic rape is one of the primary methods. The country is blessed with some of the greatest natural resources in the world, but because of that, everyone wants some of it. The major resource that is being exploited is something that is in our cell phones and can only be found in DRC (a little in Australia, but only a very little). The corporations that make the cell phones, and in fact the people that buy cells phones (us), depend on the instability of the region to get cheap access to the mineral. That is only a very brief run-down of only on aspect of the conflict (it’s very complicated), but my point is that we are all interconnected. We all play a role in what is happening there and need to be aware of it. This website gives some good background information: http://www.globalissues.org/article/87/the-democratic-republic-of-congo
On a lighter note, yesterday was pretty much amazing. I went back to the Maasai girl’s school that I went to last week, and this time I brought Alainna, Melendy, Rose, and Sara. We got a tour when we got there and then Kate (the lady giving us the tour) brought us into the classroom and had the girls sing some songs they had been working on. I pretty much started crying. These girls are so wonderful and the sing so loudly (music is so different from the States here).
I can’t help the gnawing doubt that I have about how good it is for young girls to see white people coming in and “helping” them and then leaving. Like, there are plenty of teachers here, what role am I trying to play? But I also feel like this is a place where I can learn and they can learn and we can all just have fun together. We played outside after they sang. There are 84-ish of them and only two soccer balls, so we ended up breaking up into smaller groups and basically broke out into song. We started by teaching them something like the hokey-pokey, which was fun but … why would they need to learn the hokey-pokey? So I asked them if they could teach us something. Oh shit, it was crazy. They were singing these beautiful songs and doing these dance moves I can’t describe…it was awesome. And they taught me some! I got a lot of high-fives because I think I could almost do it. It was sweet because really, their dancing is what I try and get everyone to do with me at school. They make a circle and people go in and out and it’s so fun. Basically, I’m in love. If I can find a way to video or record the singing and dancing without feeling like I’m exploiting their welcome, I will. I’m going to try and spend as much time there as possible and get really good at Kiswahili and maybe learn some Maasai.
I hope everything is going well at home…I guess spring break is right around now? Be safe and make the most of everything! I miss you all, but as one of my favorite quotes by Tennessee Williams says, “Time is the longest distance between two places,” and I will be home in 11 weeks!
Love,
Sarah
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Ninapenda Tanzania!
Before I talk about the wonderful day I had, I want to mention how sad I am to hear about the shootings in both Alabama and Germany. My thoughts are with their families. It’s hard to understand how our society could let go of someone to the point that we miss the signs that they are so troubled is so troubled (or can’t do anything about it). I have been thinking a lot about the kind of violence that we have in the States and the kind of violence that happens here. There is definitely a difference. There was a shooting here last week actually. The story I heard (I heard a few versions) was that three guys stopped at a gas station and asked for 3000 shillings worth of gas. For some reason the woman gave them 10,000 shillings worth. They had a fight with her about whether or not they had to pay. They gave her the money and I don't know if the cops showed up there or if they caught up with them later, but I heard they shot to point blank and shot the other as he ran away. All of them died and the cops (supposedly) jumped on their bodies afterwards.
Anyway, my day today started off a little rough. Nothing in particular was wrong, I’m just pretty stressed out about my living situation next semester. If you go to my school and I don’t know where you are living next semester please let me know. I’m trying to find an on-campus apartment to apply for (by Friday!) even though it looks like I may be going off campus.
So I was kind of feeling stressed and annoyed and homesick, and our Swahili teacher decided to bring us to the market to practice bargaining. On the way my flip-flip broke. I don’t know if any of you have experienced that, but it is one of the most annoying unimportant things that can happen because there is no way you can walk in a broken flip-flop. So Almasi (My professor) asked someone something in Swahili and the guy pointed across the road. There was a shoe-fixer right there! So – this is amazing – he FIXED MY FLIP-FLOP! Within three minutes I had my flip-flops back (sewn all nicely), and it cost about 15 cents. In the States you virtually never fix flip-flops. I was thinking I was going to have to walk barefoot and find some new ones and feel sad about throwing almost-perfectly-fine flip-flops away, but no! So that put me in the best mood ever.
After that we went to the market. I love the market SO much. Other than the fact that sometimes creepers are on the prowl, I think it’s my favorite place. There are so many people and different smells (some better than others), and it’s like a giant maze. I actually would like to make a montage filmed from above the market of the white people (my friends) all trying to find each other in the giant maze and the vendors all pointing and being like, “They went that way!”
I bargained (which I love when I don’t feel guilty) in SWAHILI! It was amazing. I bought three big carrots, two coconuts, and a bag to carry them, all for only a dollar! And honestly, that’s not too much of a deal, but for a “whitey person” it’s damn good.
After Peace and Conflict (still the best class evvverrrrr, although there are some things about this program that I haven’t mentioned that really aren’t going well) I took the dala-dala by myself to go practice drums and amadinda at Makumira where I take my music classes. I got on a dala-dala that only went about half way, and when I got off I asked the girl who had sat next to me if she new which one I should take from there. She said she went to Makumira Secondary School and could take me after she went to buy a sweater. So even though I knew I could get there fine, I decided I just wanted to make a friend who is a girl, so I went with her. She took me down this path behind the street stores, and it ends up there is a giant clothing market behind the buildings! I had no idea it was even there. We went and found her a shirt (which was an adventure because I’m the opposite of invisible). Then she bought us sodas to sit down and drink together! It was SO cute! Her English was so-so and my Kiswahili is so-so, but we managed. She took me to the college and we walked in together, and basically I’m just so happy that I made a friend who is a girl. It’s nearly impossible here.
Once I got to the school I found my professor doing some work in the classroom, and two of my classmates practicing. I practiced drumming and then practiced amadinda (which, pardon my language, I’m hoping to be the shit at by the end of the semester). I’m pretty much in love with the music and dancing here.
Tonight in the hotel we met the editor of “Wild Fibers” magazine, which is all about natural fiber clothing. She is so awesome and ate dinner with us and told us all about her crazy awesome life. She has worked there for the magazine for five years and has been to 27 countries since then. She started the magazine because she raises cashmere goats and is really passionate about knowing where the things we use come from and how important natural fibers are for cultures and economies (or that’s how I understood it). Really awesome.
I am hoping that today revamped my excitement about being here. Falling in love all over again :) I hope you are all well at home, being safe and taking advantage of opportunities and such. I miss you all and I’m so thankful that I have all of you to come home to.
Love,
Sarah
I’ve been recycling things from last semester:
Current Song - Passing Afternoon by Iron and Wine
Current Quotes – “Grasping at things can yield one of two results: Either the thing you are grasping at disappears, or you yourself disappear. It’s only a matter of which occurs first.” - Goenka
“The mark of a free man is that ever-gnawing inner uncertainty as to whether or not he is right.” – Saul Alinksy
Anyway, my day today started off a little rough. Nothing in particular was wrong, I’m just pretty stressed out about my living situation next semester. If you go to my school and I don’t know where you are living next semester please let me know. I’m trying to find an on-campus apartment to apply for (by Friday!) even though it looks like I may be going off campus.
So I was kind of feeling stressed and annoyed and homesick, and our Swahili teacher decided to bring us to the market to practice bargaining. On the way my flip-flip broke. I don’t know if any of you have experienced that, but it is one of the most annoying unimportant things that can happen because there is no way you can walk in a broken flip-flop. So Almasi (My professor) asked someone something in Swahili and the guy pointed across the road. There was a shoe-fixer right there! So – this is amazing – he FIXED MY FLIP-FLOP! Within three minutes I had my flip-flops back (sewn all nicely), and it cost about 15 cents. In the States you virtually never fix flip-flops. I was thinking I was going to have to walk barefoot and find some new ones and feel sad about throwing almost-perfectly-fine flip-flops away, but no! So that put me in the best mood ever.
After that we went to the market. I love the market SO much. Other than the fact that sometimes creepers are on the prowl, I think it’s my favorite place. There are so many people and different smells (some better than others), and it’s like a giant maze. I actually would like to make a montage filmed from above the market of the white people (my friends) all trying to find each other in the giant maze and the vendors all pointing and being like, “They went that way!”
I bargained (which I love when I don’t feel guilty) in SWAHILI! It was amazing. I bought three big carrots, two coconuts, and a bag to carry them, all for only a dollar! And honestly, that’s not too much of a deal, but for a “whitey person” it’s damn good.
After Peace and Conflict (still the best class evvverrrrr, although there are some things about this program that I haven’t mentioned that really aren’t going well) I took the dala-dala by myself to go practice drums and amadinda at Makumira where I take my music classes. I got on a dala-dala that only went about half way, and when I got off I asked the girl who had sat next to me if she new which one I should take from there. She said she went to Makumira Secondary School and could take me after she went to buy a sweater. So even though I knew I could get there fine, I decided I just wanted to make a friend who is a girl, so I went with her. She took me down this path behind the street stores, and it ends up there is a giant clothing market behind the buildings! I had no idea it was even there. We went and found her a shirt (which was an adventure because I’m the opposite of invisible). Then she bought us sodas to sit down and drink together! It was SO cute! Her English was so-so and my Kiswahili is so-so, but we managed. She took me to the college and we walked in together, and basically I’m just so happy that I made a friend who is a girl. It’s nearly impossible here.
Once I got to the school I found my professor doing some work in the classroom, and two of my classmates practicing. I practiced drumming and then practiced amadinda (which, pardon my language, I’m hoping to be the shit at by the end of the semester). I’m pretty much in love with the music and dancing here.
Tonight in the hotel we met the editor of “Wild Fibers” magazine, which is all about natural fiber clothing. She is so awesome and ate dinner with us and told us all about her crazy awesome life. She has worked there for the magazine for five years and has been to 27 countries since then. She started the magazine because she raises cashmere goats and is really passionate about knowing where the things we use come from and how important natural fibers are for cultures and economies (or that’s how I understood it). Really awesome.
I am hoping that today revamped my excitement about being here. Falling in love all over again :) I hope you are all well at home, being safe and taking advantage of opportunities and such. I miss you all and I’m so thankful that I have all of you to come home to.
Love,
Sarah
I’ve been recycling things from last semester:
Current Song - Passing Afternoon by Iron and Wine
Current Quotes – “Grasping at things can yield one of two results: Either the thing you are grasping at disappears, or you yourself disappear. It’s only a matter of which occurs first.” - Goenka
“The mark of a free man is that ever-gnawing inner uncertainty as to whether or not he is right.” – Saul Alinksy
Saturday, March 7, 2009
One Month In
Last night Sara, Kaliya, Josh, Trevor, and I went to ViaVia because Josh’s friend John said that there was a really good reggae band playing. We didn’t realize that there were performances before the band started, and all of a sudden they were setting up these big drums and these dancers came out. They were from Zanzibar and did traditional dancing (I don’t know what tribe they are from). It was absolutely amazing. The drumming and the dancing was some of the best I’ve seen since I got here. Then when they were finished, these hip-hop songs came on and this crazy break dancing started happening. Apparently they are a group from here that performs sometimes. They all did individual stuff and then they had this routine, and it was hands down the best break dancing I’ve ever seen. And all of this happened before the band we went to see even started!
So my last post was a bit of a rant, and I may have changed my mind a little since then. Basically I just think that urbanization without industrialization leads to dependency. Some micro-lending can be good, but some of it is brought from outsiders and can lead to further dependency.
I started my Peace and Conflict class this week, and it’s amazing. It only lasts two weeks, which is a bummer, but I’m enjoying it while it lasts. It’s weird, though, because although a bunch of the information is new for me, it is also very much like taking Elham’s Intro to Peace Studies class all over again. I have already come to a lot of conclusions that the professor is trying to lead us to, so I can see where the conversations are going, but most of the other students in the class can’t. So they get all worked up and offended and it’s so interesting to watch! Like honestly, as harsh as this sounds, I didn’t come here under any delusion that I am going to (or need to) “save the Africans”. Africa has been here for a long time, and it’s patronizing to act like as a 21-year-old college student I know what’s better for them than they do. But I think a lot of people think that way and don’t realize how dangerous it can be. I’m in these classes to educate myself, figure out the role I play in all of it, and proceed accordingly. I’m not saying I don’t want to do anything about everything that goes on here. But part of learning is sitting with the frustration of seeing that I have so much solely because of the fact that I was coincidentally born a white girl in the US while most of the world has so much less, and I can’t fix it all just by hopping on a plane to Africa. It’s hard watching other kids come to similar conclusions (because they are painful conclusions to come to) and recognizing that it’s not my job to try and push them through it, however patronizing some of the remarks are. Now, that all sounds somewhat nihilistic, but I think it’s the opposite. Once you stop viewing things dualistically (me verses the other, me going in and helping the poor people) and recognize that we all play a part in the world we live in, I think you start to view peace building (or whatever it is you are doing) in a much more constructive way – as a partnership.
I’m also struggling with how I feel a little older than most of my classmates (I’m actually the oldest). That feels weird to say because I don’t like to judge people by age, and I think they are all really great and intelligent. Of course all of us have our areas where we are more mature and our areas where we are less mature, I just get a little frustrated sometimes.
I don’t think everyone is having as good of a time as me, and although there are definitely things about this program that need to improve, I think that around 60%-75% of an experience is what you make of it. Barring some horrible thing happening, I think that if you are making a good time for yourself you will have a good time, and if you are trying to find things to complain about, you are going to find them. I’m not trying to discount how any of my friends feel, but I think that’s where my frustration comes from when I feel older. At the same time, though, it’s really hard for me to accept that other people are unhappy without me trying to fix it, and that’s the area in which I am trying to grow up a little.
In other news, I found the organization I am going to volunteer for! I met a girl named Katie at church last week. She works at a school that I decided to check out, and so I went after classes a couple days ago. Getting there was an adventure because I took the Dala-Dala by myself for the first time. I did that on purpose because I figure I need to learn to be comfortable, the only thing is that I only had a vague idea of how to get there and it’s outside the city about 20-30 minutes. So straight away I got on the wrong one and ended up in a part of the city that I had never seen and felt a little bit less comfortable in than usual (and by a little I mean a little more than a little). No one seemed to have any idea where the place I needed to get to was, until this one guy was like, “I know the area, I will take you.”
I had this kind of “do I go or don’t I go, is this guy going to take me somewhere and kill me” moment, but I decided I could always bail if it seemed sketch. So we got off the dala-dala and he found another one. They put me in the front and didn’t charge me! That is unheard of! Usually the mzungu price is double. It ended up working out and they took me all the way there where I met Katie.
The school is for Maasai girls who have failed their entry exams into secondary school. The Maasai are a tribe that primarily lives in Northern Tanzania. Girls tend to be married off very young (around 14), so most of the girls have gotten to the school despite their father’s not agreeing with it. It’s a year-long program that prepares them for secondary school and then sponsors them through school. It’s run by a nun and there are two teachers, two heads of the dorms (matrons), and 84 girls. I’ll be doing recreation with them (sports and stuff), and then in April when Katie leaves I’m going to take over her class for four or five girls that are learning to read and do math.
So things are going well here, and it’s been more than a month! I have passing moments of, “Ok, this was nice, time to go home,” but they are fleeting. I definitely really miss everyone, and I especially miss my friends. It’s weird how being in a totally new environment means that you don’t have any familiar way of existing. At school I live with Abby and Kenny and I feel most myself with them (and they get my jokes). But sometimes you relate to one person one way and another person another way, and when you only know like 10 people there are parts of yourself that aren’t brought out very often. I’m sure it’s a good thing to experience, but I kind of miss myself. Anyway, thanks for reading!
All the Best,
Sarah
PS, I made a “Homesickness” playlist today, and everyone should listen to Bob Dylan’s “My Back Pages” because it’s amazing.
So my last post was a bit of a rant, and I may have changed my mind a little since then. Basically I just think that urbanization without industrialization leads to dependency. Some micro-lending can be good, but some of it is brought from outsiders and can lead to further dependency.
I started my Peace and Conflict class this week, and it’s amazing. It only lasts two weeks, which is a bummer, but I’m enjoying it while it lasts. It’s weird, though, because although a bunch of the information is new for me, it is also very much like taking Elham’s Intro to Peace Studies class all over again. I have already come to a lot of conclusions that the professor is trying to lead us to, so I can see where the conversations are going, but most of the other students in the class can’t. So they get all worked up and offended and it’s so interesting to watch! Like honestly, as harsh as this sounds, I didn’t come here under any delusion that I am going to (or need to) “save the Africans”. Africa has been here for a long time, and it’s patronizing to act like as a 21-year-old college student I know what’s better for them than they do. But I think a lot of people think that way and don’t realize how dangerous it can be. I’m in these classes to educate myself, figure out the role I play in all of it, and proceed accordingly. I’m not saying I don’t want to do anything about everything that goes on here. But part of learning is sitting with the frustration of seeing that I have so much solely because of the fact that I was coincidentally born a white girl in the US while most of the world has so much less, and I can’t fix it all just by hopping on a plane to Africa. It’s hard watching other kids come to similar conclusions (because they are painful conclusions to come to) and recognizing that it’s not my job to try and push them through it, however patronizing some of the remarks are. Now, that all sounds somewhat nihilistic, but I think it’s the opposite. Once you stop viewing things dualistically (me verses the other, me going in and helping the poor people) and recognize that we all play a part in the world we live in, I think you start to view peace building (or whatever it is you are doing) in a much more constructive way – as a partnership.
I’m also struggling with how I feel a little older than most of my classmates (I’m actually the oldest). That feels weird to say because I don’t like to judge people by age, and I think they are all really great and intelligent. Of course all of us have our areas where we are more mature and our areas where we are less mature, I just get a little frustrated sometimes.
I don’t think everyone is having as good of a time as me, and although there are definitely things about this program that need to improve, I think that around 60%-75% of an experience is what you make of it. Barring some horrible thing happening, I think that if you are making a good time for yourself you will have a good time, and if you are trying to find things to complain about, you are going to find them. I’m not trying to discount how any of my friends feel, but I think that’s where my frustration comes from when I feel older. At the same time, though, it’s really hard for me to accept that other people are unhappy without me trying to fix it, and that’s the area in which I am trying to grow up a little.
In other news, I found the organization I am going to volunteer for! I met a girl named Katie at church last week. She works at a school that I decided to check out, and so I went after classes a couple days ago. Getting there was an adventure because I took the Dala-Dala by myself for the first time. I did that on purpose because I figure I need to learn to be comfortable, the only thing is that I only had a vague idea of how to get there and it’s outside the city about 20-30 minutes. So straight away I got on the wrong one and ended up in a part of the city that I had never seen and felt a little bit less comfortable in than usual (and by a little I mean a little more than a little). No one seemed to have any idea where the place I needed to get to was, until this one guy was like, “I know the area, I will take you.”
I had this kind of “do I go or don’t I go, is this guy going to take me somewhere and kill me” moment, but I decided I could always bail if it seemed sketch. So we got off the dala-dala and he found another one. They put me in the front and didn’t charge me! That is unheard of! Usually the mzungu price is double. It ended up working out and they took me all the way there where I met Katie.
The school is for Maasai girls who have failed their entry exams into secondary school. The Maasai are a tribe that primarily lives in Northern Tanzania. Girls tend to be married off very young (around 14), so most of the girls have gotten to the school despite their father’s not agreeing with it. It’s a year-long program that prepares them for secondary school and then sponsors them through school. It’s run by a nun and there are two teachers, two heads of the dorms (matrons), and 84 girls. I’ll be doing recreation with them (sports and stuff), and then in April when Katie leaves I’m going to take over her class for four or five girls that are learning to read and do math.
So things are going well here, and it’s been more than a month! I have passing moments of, “Ok, this was nice, time to go home,” but they are fleeting. I definitely really miss everyone, and I especially miss my friends. It’s weird how being in a totally new environment means that you don’t have any familiar way of existing. At school I live with Abby and Kenny and I feel most myself with them (and they get my jokes). But sometimes you relate to one person one way and another person another way, and when you only know like 10 people there are parts of yourself that aren’t brought out very often. I’m sure it’s a good thing to experience, but I kind of miss myself. Anyway, thanks for reading!
All the Best,
Sarah
PS, I made a “Homesickness” playlist today, and everyone should listen to Bob Dylan’s “My Back Pages” because it’s amazing.
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Hakuna Shida
Ethel, one of our coordinators and friends, asked us today if Tanzania is proving to be what we expected it to be. I couldn’t really say that I had any expectations of what it would be, even though that seems ridiculous. If I did have expectations I wasn’t attached to them. What I realized, though, is that even if I didn’t have expectations about Arusha, I definitely had expectations about how I would be in Arusha, and it’s interesting how some of them are true and some of them are completely not true.
I have only cried once or twice. I expected to find the amount time that I will be here much more daunting than I do. I know I am not the same person that I was just a year ago because when I feel myself worrying about something that I can’t do anything about (like the fact that I am here for four months…not that I would want to change that) I can easily talk myself down by focusing on the moment and getting some perspective.
My classes and things are making me realize that I am not nearly as liberal or idealistic as I thought/other people think/other people have caused me to think. I’m actually pretty conservative and realistic about a lot of things (not that I think conservative and realistic go together in some kind of opposition to liberal and unrealistic, but that is the way a lot of people think). I know that sounds ridiculous, but for a long time I have thought of myself as kind of naïve and unknowledgeable about things that I learn in school (like economics, poverty, politics, etc.). I’m realizing I can back up my opinions, and create opinions, without my professors. And they are actually my opinions!
Also, there are things that America has done really well! Of course I knew that, but there are some things that you just can’t appreciate until you actually notice them. And you don’t notice them until they aren’t there anymore. There are also things about Tanzania that I think are pretty messed up, and not just stuff that was caused by outsiders, but stuff that was here before any colonizers came and started screwing with things. I was so wrapped up in being culturally sensitive that I hadn’t thought about how there would be things that I think are just straight up wrong (like the way women are treated). Of course there are a lot of things here that are incredible that the “West” could benefit from, but just like any culture there are also things that are pretty oppressive that I think the side-affects of globalization are actually improving (like certain human rights issues).
A lot of the beliefs I had before coming here have been confirmed further. And it’s weird to me that even though I am getting a lot of different perspectives than I’ve gotten before, some of them make me change my opinions, and some of them just remind me of why I think certain things. My gender class, for instance, has turned me into a total women’s rights freak. At the same time, though, I still have a lot of issues with micro-lending and the ways that a lot of organizations have been trying to “empower” women. No one seems to question it, even here.
I’m struggling with the way that I can see globalization and the corporations that lead it infiltrating society here. I know that not everyone (or maybe even anyone) who is reading this agrees with my political opinions, but it’s fairly unavoidable to talk about what I’m experiencing here without talking about that. The way I see it, there are more than 113 tribes in Tanzania. The vast majority of them live in rural areas and have their own laws, customs, and boundaries (the actual country boundaries were imposed by colonizers with very little regard for the groups that were already here). Slowly, though, as markets are being globalized and cities are being industrialized, the farmers and others are being driven out of business by foreign corporations. They are forced to move to the cities and find jobs (which there aren’t enough of).
Now, that sounds slightly one-sided, but please let me go on. There is this kind of dialectic going on in my head about all of this, because on one side, a lot of the technology that could be brought to rural areas would really help them to not be at the mercy of the weather (of course, I won’t even go into the ecological reprocussions of that) or health problems. And the knowledge of history and what goes on outside of certain tribes can be really valuable in trying to reconcile particular tribal customs and human rights. But these changes are not being brought here out of the goodness of the market economy’s heart - they are being brought here for profit. The good things are side effects.
Take micro-lending for instance. You give a woman a loan to start a business and she pays you back six months later, assuming she actually made money. And in theory the idea is that eventually the woman will make enough money to have choices. This is where we are ignoring so much, though. What was this woman doing before she started competing for profit? For a woman to be free, she needs to be empowered to choose what to participate in out of free will, not out of necessity (meaning that if a woman from an agricultural community that has been impoverished because they have been driven out of business by foreign or domestic corporations gets a micro-loan, it isn’t necessarily a real choice, it is the option she has…to really help her we would look at the reason she is impoverished in the first place).
In certain tribes wealth is not measured with material goods, whereas in a capitalist economy that is all it is measured with. We cannot automatically assume that the natural next-step for countries like Tanzania is development because developing some of the societies here would mean completely ignoring the systems of value that are already set up. Even referring to Tanzania as an “undeveloped” or “developing” country is assuming that the goal is development. No one should have to live without food, water, health, education, etc., but not everyone wants to live in a society where everything is turned into a commodity and wealth is only measured by material accumulation and consumption either. Is freedom having the choice between innumerable material luxuries, or the ability to choose what kind of society you want to participate in? Micro-lending does not deal with the roots of poverty, it assimilates people into our markets. So who is it really benefiting? If we really want to deal with poverty, we need to look at the roots of the problem and listen to the human beings that live here.
People label me as idealistic or unrealistic because I disagree with capitalism, but what’s idealistic is thinking that a system whose entire foundation is unsustainable growth and consumption will lead the world out of poverty. I recognize that I haven’t proposed a solution, but when I figure it out I’ll let you know. I could go on a lot more, but I’ll change the subject. Please don’t hold me to any of these opinions, I just thought I would give you a glimpse of the fleeting dilemmas that pass through my head while I’m here.
Today Tammy (the woman we met at my dance class) and her family brought us to their church. It’s at a hotel restaurant (outdoors under this giant peaked thatch roof) and is a kind of non-denominational Christian visitor’s church. Most of the people that go there are volunteers, missionaries, or expatriates. It’s funny to me because, at the risk of revealing one of my personal prejudices, I will say that those are the exact people I wanted nothing to do with before coming here. I still wouldn’t want to come to Tanzania and spend all my time with people who aren’t Tanzanian, but I am opening up a little and realizing that not all missionaries are here to impose anything and that not all volunteers are patronizing. Of course I knew that before, but I definitely was fairly judgmental.
I am apprehensive to describe how I felt during the service because I am trying to let the plurality of the seemingly contradictory feelings I have exist all at once. On one hand, I’m a Jew. On the other hand, I am slowly beginning to practice Buddhism. So here I was at this Christian church in Tanzania feeling like I was dancing the line towards Fight Club, buffet style religion. I felt totally comfortable in my own beliefs and the fact that I just want a community of people to sing with and focus on something greater than me. A lot of it was familiar to me because I grew up around it. At the same time, there are a lot of things about certain churches (and other places, but this was a church) that I don’t necessarily agree with, and sometimes I think taking what you want and leaving the rest can be a little…disrespectful? Maybe not disrespectful, but I don’t want to be someone who uses parts of religions just to justify the beliefs I already have and then ignore the rest. The service was almost entirely musical, though, which I was totally into. So I was simultaneously right at home and so awkward about being in a doubly foreign environment. All the people were really nice, though, and I made some friends.
The philosophical conversations that go on inside my head here are insane. On one hand I feel so at home and on the other I’m so confused. My professor was telling us that the punishment for theft here is usually death, and not death by the police, death by mob violence. For instance if someone grabbed my purse and I yelled, “Thief,” in Swahili, it would be highly likely that a bunch of people would come and either beat the person to death or put a tire around them and light them on fire (I think that’s what he said). It’s happened twice at the market behind my professor’s house in the past two years. Like, WHAT?! Sometimes I forget that my entire structure for understanding things filters all the information I get and if I don’t keep check on it then I have a totally skewed perspective of where I am. I occasionally forget and everything seems “normal” and then something so contrary to everything I know blows it up.
Something else that has been weird is to realize I have been here a whole three weeks and don’t have 8 volunteer jobs, hundreds of friends, and no free time. Usually by three weeks into a semester I don’t have a moment to breath. Here, though, things move a lot slower. So I am learning to remind myself that three weeks isn’t very long and that I don’t have to do everything. In fact if I tried to do everything I would be doing it for the sake of doing everything and not because I was actually giving anything the time it deserves.
I appreciate you reading this far in my post, despite my political rant. I promise I’m not usually so heavy. Hopefully everything is going well at home
Love,
Sarah
I have only cried once or twice. I expected to find the amount time that I will be here much more daunting than I do. I know I am not the same person that I was just a year ago because when I feel myself worrying about something that I can’t do anything about (like the fact that I am here for four months…not that I would want to change that) I can easily talk myself down by focusing on the moment and getting some perspective.
My classes and things are making me realize that I am not nearly as liberal or idealistic as I thought/other people think/other people have caused me to think. I’m actually pretty conservative and realistic about a lot of things (not that I think conservative and realistic go together in some kind of opposition to liberal and unrealistic, but that is the way a lot of people think). I know that sounds ridiculous, but for a long time I have thought of myself as kind of naïve and unknowledgeable about things that I learn in school (like economics, poverty, politics, etc.). I’m realizing I can back up my opinions, and create opinions, without my professors. And they are actually my opinions!
Also, there are things that America has done really well! Of course I knew that, but there are some things that you just can’t appreciate until you actually notice them. And you don’t notice them until they aren’t there anymore. There are also things about Tanzania that I think are pretty messed up, and not just stuff that was caused by outsiders, but stuff that was here before any colonizers came and started screwing with things. I was so wrapped up in being culturally sensitive that I hadn’t thought about how there would be things that I think are just straight up wrong (like the way women are treated). Of course there are a lot of things here that are incredible that the “West” could benefit from, but just like any culture there are also things that are pretty oppressive that I think the side-affects of globalization are actually improving (like certain human rights issues).
A lot of the beliefs I had before coming here have been confirmed further. And it’s weird to me that even though I am getting a lot of different perspectives than I’ve gotten before, some of them make me change my opinions, and some of them just remind me of why I think certain things. My gender class, for instance, has turned me into a total women’s rights freak. At the same time, though, I still have a lot of issues with micro-lending and the ways that a lot of organizations have been trying to “empower” women. No one seems to question it, even here.
I’m struggling with the way that I can see globalization and the corporations that lead it infiltrating society here. I know that not everyone (or maybe even anyone) who is reading this agrees with my political opinions, but it’s fairly unavoidable to talk about what I’m experiencing here without talking about that. The way I see it, there are more than 113 tribes in Tanzania. The vast majority of them live in rural areas and have their own laws, customs, and boundaries (the actual country boundaries were imposed by colonizers with very little regard for the groups that were already here). Slowly, though, as markets are being globalized and cities are being industrialized, the farmers and others are being driven out of business by foreign corporations. They are forced to move to the cities and find jobs (which there aren’t enough of).
Now, that sounds slightly one-sided, but please let me go on. There is this kind of dialectic going on in my head about all of this, because on one side, a lot of the technology that could be brought to rural areas would really help them to not be at the mercy of the weather (of course, I won’t even go into the ecological reprocussions of that) or health problems. And the knowledge of history and what goes on outside of certain tribes can be really valuable in trying to reconcile particular tribal customs and human rights. But these changes are not being brought here out of the goodness of the market economy’s heart - they are being brought here for profit. The good things are side effects.
Take micro-lending for instance. You give a woman a loan to start a business and she pays you back six months later, assuming she actually made money. And in theory the idea is that eventually the woman will make enough money to have choices. This is where we are ignoring so much, though. What was this woman doing before she started competing for profit? For a woman to be free, she needs to be empowered to choose what to participate in out of free will, not out of necessity (meaning that if a woman from an agricultural community that has been impoverished because they have been driven out of business by foreign or domestic corporations gets a micro-loan, it isn’t necessarily a real choice, it is the option she has…to really help her we would look at the reason she is impoverished in the first place).
In certain tribes wealth is not measured with material goods, whereas in a capitalist economy that is all it is measured with. We cannot automatically assume that the natural next-step for countries like Tanzania is development because developing some of the societies here would mean completely ignoring the systems of value that are already set up. Even referring to Tanzania as an “undeveloped” or “developing” country is assuming that the goal is development. No one should have to live without food, water, health, education, etc., but not everyone wants to live in a society where everything is turned into a commodity and wealth is only measured by material accumulation and consumption either. Is freedom having the choice between innumerable material luxuries, or the ability to choose what kind of society you want to participate in? Micro-lending does not deal with the roots of poverty, it assimilates people into our markets. So who is it really benefiting? If we really want to deal with poverty, we need to look at the roots of the problem and listen to the human beings that live here.
People label me as idealistic or unrealistic because I disagree with capitalism, but what’s idealistic is thinking that a system whose entire foundation is unsustainable growth and consumption will lead the world out of poverty. I recognize that I haven’t proposed a solution, but when I figure it out I’ll let you know. I could go on a lot more, but I’ll change the subject. Please don’t hold me to any of these opinions, I just thought I would give you a glimpse of the fleeting dilemmas that pass through my head while I’m here.
Today Tammy (the woman we met at my dance class) and her family brought us to their church. It’s at a hotel restaurant (outdoors under this giant peaked thatch roof) and is a kind of non-denominational Christian visitor’s church. Most of the people that go there are volunteers, missionaries, or expatriates. It’s funny to me because, at the risk of revealing one of my personal prejudices, I will say that those are the exact people I wanted nothing to do with before coming here. I still wouldn’t want to come to Tanzania and spend all my time with people who aren’t Tanzanian, but I am opening up a little and realizing that not all missionaries are here to impose anything and that not all volunteers are patronizing. Of course I knew that before, but I definitely was fairly judgmental.
I am apprehensive to describe how I felt during the service because I am trying to let the plurality of the seemingly contradictory feelings I have exist all at once. On one hand, I’m a Jew. On the other hand, I am slowly beginning to practice Buddhism. So here I was at this Christian church in Tanzania feeling like I was dancing the line towards Fight Club, buffet style religion. I felt totally comfortable in my own beliefs and the fact that I just want a community of people to sing with and focus on something greater than me. A lot of it was familiar to me because I grew up around it. At the same time, there are a lot of things about certain churches (and other places, but this was a church) that I don’t necessarily agree with, and sometimes I think taking what you want and leaving the rest can be a little…disrespectful? Maybe not disrespectful, but I don’t want to be someone who uses parts of religions just to justify the beliefs I already have and then ignore the rest. The service was almost entirely musical, though, which I was totally into. So I was simultaneously right at home and so awkward about being in a doubly foreign environment. All the people were really nice, though, and I made some friends.
The philosophical conversations that go on inside my head here are insane. On one hand I feel so at home and on the other I’m so confused. My professor was telling us that the punishment for theft here is usually death, and not death by the police, death by mob violence. For instance if someone grabbed my purse and I yelled, “Thief,” in Swahili, it would be highly likely that a bunch of people would come and either beat the person to death or put a tire around them and light them on fire (I think that’s what he said). It’s happened twice at the market behind my professor’s house in the past two years. Like, WHAT?! Sometimes I forget that my entire structure for understanding things filters all the information I get and if I don’t keep check on it then I have a totally skewed perspective of where I am. I occasionally forget and everything seems “normal” and then something so contrary to everything I know blows it up.
Something else that has been weird is to realize I have been here a whole three weeks and don’t have 8 volunteer jobs, hundreds of friends, and no free time. Usually by three weeks into a semester I don’t have a moment to breath. Here, though, things move a lot slower. So I am learning to remind myself that three weeks isn’t very long and that I don’t have to do everything. In fact if I tried to do everything I would be doing it for the sake of doing everything and not because I was actually giving anything the time it deserves.
I appreciate you reading this far in my post, despite my political rant. I promise I’m not usually so heavy. Hopefully everything is going well at home
Love,
Sarah
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