It's the last day! It's so crazy! I'm really sad, actually. Yesterday was great, though. Alainna, Kaliya, Melendy and I went to Njiro and smoked hookah after dinner. We had a really good conversation about a lot of different things, including how we have all grown up so much this semester and how it will be weird to go home. When we got home we watched a movie and then Melendy and I had pillow talk before going to sleep. It was a pretty great last night.
One of the things we talked about yesterday was the wealth/race issues that we have encountered while being here. The two people at the Center who work under Martha (one is in charge of us and one is in charge of the administration side) both essentially asked us for money this week. One of them emailed a few of us and one directly asked Alainna. Basically they want us to sponsor them or find sponsors for them to continue school.
At first I was pissed because I had the feeling that one of them (who I'm not too fond of) was heading in that direction ever since he came to the Center. I don't think someone in an authority position should be asking us for money, both because of the power dynamic where they have control over our grades and experience to some extent, and also because the Center used to be the one place besides our rooms where we didn't have to be 100% on our toes about people looking at us as the wealthy white kids.
It's hard though, because there are like 10 different perspectives that are all pretty valid. At home I take certain jobs or meet certain people for the purpose of making connections and creating more opportunities. And even here, on an individual level it might be the same thing. People need money to go to school so they set themselves up with jobs that will lead them to opportunities. On a large scale, though, so many people perpetuate this relationship of dependency. To give away money enforces the idea that white people will give Africans money.
No one really asks why it is that some people have obscene amounts of money and some people have none. Why is it that I have so much more money only because I was born into this skin and this nationality? All of a sudden I came here and people listen to what I have to say as if Barack Obama himself were giving them advice. Relatively, I'm a little kid. And yet, because I'm white I am treated like a royal voice of authority. They think white people are so nice because they "help" people here.
So when it comes to the people at the Center, it's a really difficult situation. on one level I'm really against them asking us for money. It feels like it reduces us to paychecks yet again, it's hard to say no when you feel like they have power over you, and it doesn't put you on an equal level. At the same time, though, economically we aren't equal. And we know a lot of wealthy people in the States, so it's only natural for them to try and take advantage of the opportunity (just like I probably will ask people for money when I want to do research or something).
How do we work together to address the root causes of the issues without perpetuating a dependent relationship and without disregarding the experiences and needs of individuals? I don't have the answer, but I think that it would be really valuable for someone here to lead a conversation around the issue amongst Arcadia staff and students. I also think I might start a group around it at school (there are a lot of other people who studied in Africa).
Overall, I'm just amazed at how every one of us grew up so much this semester. I'm really proud of the ways that I've been able to conquer my own racism and prejudices (don't judge, it's subconscious until you are forced to look it in the face - if you grew up in the US you can't avoid having had racism ingrained into you on some level). I also feel like we have all gotten really good at things that seem simple but aren't. For instance, dealing with people trying to sell us stuff on the street. I didn't want to be rude in the beginning so I was really, really nice. Honestly, though, it's kind of patronizing to be overly nice to people because you feel bad for them (which, as much as I don't want to admit it, I did in the beginning). Now I'm always nice, but I'm firm, and it's not weird anymore. If you treat people like people then it's a lot easier to be respectful in way that isn't rude or overly nice. Some of my favorite friendships came out of meeting people on the street, and it's sad that I probably won't ever talk to them again.
I'm excited to go home and I'm sad to leave. I'm most excited for being able to go out without having to be on or constantly aware of the fact that I'm white. I will miss people here, though, and I imagine that the learning is only beginning.
See you on the other side...
Sarah
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Monday, May 25, 2009
Flashbacks: A Plethora of Lists Revisited
I’ve decided to look back at the things I wrote right before I came here. I made lists on this blog of what I was nervous about, what my goal were, etc. Now I’m going to go back and look at them in their full hilarity and embarrassment and comment on the comments made by the old me (via italics):
Things I am most Excited and/or Nervous About that will Probably Obsolete in Four Days (Hopefully because they aren't issues, not because I have bigger issues :D )
-The other students I'm going with: I have been blessed/cursed with a school and major full of people who are somewhat like-minded. I think I'm more nervous about how I will handle the culture shock of being with new Americans than how I will handle the culture shock of being in Africa :)
Oh, how wise I was. Luckily it all worked out, but that was one of the hardest parts, hands down.
-The first pangs of homesickness
They didn’t come nearly as badly as I expected. I’ve come a long way since I was the girl that couldn’t have a sleep over until seventh grade.
-Getting know Arusha
It happened. We were intimate.
-Something happening at home that I can't be here for
Plenty happened at home that I couldn’t be there for. That was another thing that was really hard, but a major part of the learning. Usually I would bail and fly home if something that I wanted to be there for was happening. But I didn’t! Or I couldn’t…
-The fact that I can't carry Elham, Ailish, Seble, Fran, John, and all my other professors, friends, and family in my pocket, even though I know I wouldn't really want that
Who? Oh, I didn’t end up needing them. Apparently my opinions were hiding in there all along!
-Having to eventually leave
Shouldn’t this be on the wild fantasies list below? Just kidding! No, I really am sad to leave, but I think the harder parts will come once normalcy sets in at home.
-First impressions
You just gotta let them go. No matter how hard you try people decide about you almost irrelevant of how much you try to control their opinions. Especially when you are in a group of 8 white kids that everyone knows as a group. I’m really glad I had to deal with that, though. I learned a lot. Also, sometimes it's good to have enemies because it means they aren't creepin on you)
-Nervous that I will be with a group of people who want to "save African children." Sorry if that is brutal...
Well…I didn’t think about how people who think that can learn. And they learned really quickly. Even though we all still have different opinions, I don’t think anyone in the group is disrespectful.
-Being the "girl who talks too much" in my classes
It happened. It changed, though, and turned out well.
-Learning to be without a car and perpetual internet availability for the 3,000 times a day when I wonder about things and want to look them up online
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh! I can’t wait to drive. The internet thing sucks, but you get used to it. I didn’t even think about driving until a few weeks ago when I realized that at home I drive hours and hours every week. That’s my alone time. It was good to not have those, though.
-Not knowing lots of stuff (which of course is actually a good thing)
I still don’t know most things.
Wild Fantasies That Have Very Little Basis in Reality
-One starlit night I go to a club with my friends to dance. A jam breaks out, the best dancer in the room grabs me, and we wow everyone to tears with our powerful yet sophisticated moves. Later, he invites me to learn all sorts of new dances, become really good at them, and spend all my free time traveling with the dance company I get asked to join.
You know, I might have been able to make this happen actually…but I’m glad I didn’t because things would have turned out differently.
-My new dance partner wants to devote obscene amounts of time to learning Lindy Hop, but he doesn't have to because he is naturally good at it. So we start teaching free classes, running free dances, and create a Lindy scene that quickly spreads to neighboring countries.
This too…I easily could have done this one, but I made a choice not to. Yay!
-I buy a bicycle (hopefully this one is plausible)
Booooooo. It’s ok, though. I would have gotten hit by a car if I had gotten one right away (now I’m a street pro).
-I learn more than I could imagine about peace, law, life, and Arusha. I also get to know all sorts of government/nongovernment people that take me as their humble apprentice,teach me their ways, and invite me to stay in Arusha indefinitely. I tell them I would love too, but I must first return to my Goucherian roots and finish my last year of school. I will return immediately after finishing grad school in Stockholm.
Well…I got fairly close to this actually. But what I realized is that all those government/nongovernment people are just people and they really aren’t all that fancy.
-I become a Kiswahili master in a matter of days.
Hm…there were fleeting moments.
-Although I become best friends with all the people on my program, I also make lots of friends that live in Arusha.
Proved much more difficult than I would have thought. I do have friends, but not in the way I imagined.
-While climbing to the top of a volcano, it erupts over Arusha causing mass amounts of non-harmful ruckus, but everyone escapes just in time, no one is hurt, and nothing is destroyed.
Not quite. Dante’s Peak was on TV the other night, though. I think that counts.
-I become great friends with a local family that I begin to babysit for because at some point during the past few years my maternal instincts kicked in and I became someone who likes kids.
We babysat for our Dutch neighbors a few times. And I have a family here. That’s good enough I would say.
-My new Tanzanian fiancé invites me to stay for the summer and live with his family, though before I leave we decide we are too young to marry and break it off indefinitely in hopes that we will someday meet again. We stay great friends and visit often via the new environmentally friendly airplanes that are invented while I am there.
Oh yeah I forgot to mention that whole fiancé thing…haha, actually I did have PLENTY of proposals. I didn’t expect it to be so difficult to choose!
-Every weekend I take a bus to the coast where I meet up with my new group of surfer friends and ride the waves late into the night. We build a sailboat.
No waves.
-I go to the Democratic Republic of Congo.
Didn’t happen…but it will someday.
-I find a wonderful community organization to work with and remember that I'm not going to Tanzania to surf, but to learn. I surf anyway, but maybe a little less.
I found three organizations to work with!
-The local karaoke bar has thousands of songs in English, although it doesn't matter because I'm fluent in Kiswahili. One night after throwing a few back, I decide to give it a shot. A member of a local band spots me and asks if I will sing with them. In between my classes, surfing, lindy hop, volunteering, and such, I tour with the band.
Let’s never think about Friday night karaoke again…
-I play basketball and soccer on the side and create a Purple Rain sister team.
Didn’t happen.
-I run "The Pilot" with Tanzanian students.
I decided against this one.
-I am humbled.
Hell yes. I’m also a lot more sure of myself, though.
Four months is a long time. It's also not that long in the big picture, though. I'm just really grateful.
Things I am most Excited and/or Nervous About that will Probably Obsolete in Four Days (Hopefully because they aren't issues, not because I have bigger issues :D )
-The other students I'm going with: I have been blessed/cursed with a school and major full of people who are somewhat like-minded. I think I'm more nervous about how I will handle the culture shock of being with new Americans than how I will handle the culture shock of being in Africa :)
Oh, how wise I was. Luckily it all worked out, but that was one of the hardest parts, hands down.
-The first pangs of homesickness
They didn’t come nearly as badly as I expected. I’ve come a long way since I was the girl that couldn’t have a sleep over until seventh grade.
-Getting know Arusha
It happened. We were intimate.
-Something happening at home that I can't be here for
Plenty happened at home that I couldn’t be there for. That was another thing that was really hard, but a major part of the learning. Usually I would bail and fly home if something that I wanted to be there for was happening. But I didn’t! Or I couldn’t…
-The fact that I can't carry Elham, Ailish, Seble, Fran, John, and all my other professors, friends, and family in my pocket, even though I know I wouldn't really want that
Who? Oh, I didn’t end up needing them. Apparently my opinions were hiding in there all along!
-Having to eventually leave
Shouldn’t this be on the wild fantasies list below? Just kidding! No, I really am sad to leave, but I think the harder parts will come once normalcy sets in at home.
-First impressions
You just gotta let them go. No matter how hard you try people decide about you almost irrelevant of how much you try to control their opinions. Especially when you are in a group of 8 white kids that everyone knows as a group. I’m really glad I had to deal with that, though. I learned a lot. Also, sometimes it's good to have enemies because it means they aren't creepin on you)
-Nervous that I will be with a group of people who want to "save African children." Sorry if that is brutal...
Well…I didn’t think about how people who think that can learn. And they learned really quickly. Even though we all still have different opinions, I don’t think anyone in the group is disrespectful.
-Being the "girl who talks too much" in my classes
It happened. It changed, though, and turned out well.
-Learning to be without a car and perpetual internet availability for the 3,000 times a day when I wonder about things and want to look them up online
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh! I can’t wait to drive. The internet thing sucks, but you get used to it. I didn’t even think about driving until a few weeks ago when I realized that at home I drive hours and hours every week. That’s my alone time. It was good to not have those, though.
-Not knowing lots of stuff (which of course is actually a good thing)
I still don’t know most things.
Wild Fantasies That Have Very Little Basis in Reality
-One starlit night I go to a club with my friends to dance. A jam breaks out, the best dancer in the room grabs me, and we wow everyone to tears with our powerful yet sophisticated moves. Later, he invites me to learn all sorts of new dances, become really good at them, and spend all my free time traveling with the dance company I get asked to join.
You know, I might have been able to make this happen actually…but I’m glad I didn’t because things would have turned out differently.
-My new dance partner wants to devote obscene amounts of time to learning Lindy Hop, but he doesn't have to because he is naturally good at it. So we start teaching free classes, running free dances, and create a Lindy scene that quickly spreads to neighboring countries.
This too…I easily could have done this one, but I made a choice not to. Yay!
-I buy a bicycle (hopefully this one is plausible)
Booooooo. It’s ok, though. I would have gotten hit by a car if I had gotten one right away (now I’m a street pro).
-I learn more than I could imagine about peace, law, life, and Arusha. I also get to know all sorts of government/nongovernment people that take me as their humble apprentice,teach me their ways, and invite me to stay in Arusha indefinitely. I tell them I would love too, but I must first return to my Goucherian roots and finish my last year of school. I will return immediately after finishing grad school in Stockholm.
Well…I got fairly close to this actually. But what I realized is that all those government/nongovernment people are just people and they really aren’t all that fancy.
-I become a Kiswahili master in a matter of days.
Hm…there were fleeting moments.
-Although I become best friends with all the people on my program, I also make lots of friends that live in Arusha.
Proved much more difficult than I would have thought. I do have friends, but not in the way I imagined.
-While climbing to the top of a volcano, it erupts over Arusha causing mass amounts of non-harmful ruckus, but everyone escapes just in time, no one is hurt, and nothing is destroyed.
Not quite. Dante’s Peak was on TV the other night, though. I think that counts.
-I become great friends with a local family that I begin to babysit for because at some point during the past few years my maternal instincts kicked in and I became someone who likes kids.
We babysat for our Dutch neighbors a few times. And I have a family here. That’s good enough I would say.
-My new Tanzanian fiancé invites me to stay for the summer and live with his family, though before I leave we decide we are too young to marry and break it off indefinitely in hopes that we will someday meet again. We stay great friends and visit often via the new environmentally friendly airplanes that are invented while I am there.
Oh yeah I forgot to mention that whole fiancé thing…haha, actually I did have PLENTY of proposals. I didn’t expect it to be so difficult to choose!
-Every weekend I take a bus to the coast where I meet up with my new group of surfer friends and ride the waves late into the night. We build a sailboat.
No waves.
-I go to the Democratic Republic of Congo.
Didn’t happen…but it will someday.
-I find a wonderful community organization to work with and remember that I'm not going to Tanzania to surf, but to learn. I surf anyway, but maybe a little less.
I found three organizations to work with!
-The local karaoke bar has thousands of songs in English, although it doesn't matter because I'm fluent in Kiswahili. One night after throwing a few back, I decide to give it a shot. A member of a local band spots me and asks if I will sing with them. In between my classes, surfing, lindy hop, volunteering, and such, I tour with the band.
Let’s never think about Friday night karaoke again…
-I play basketball and soccer on the side and create a Purple Rain sister team.
Didn’t happen.
-I run "The Pilot" with Tanzanian students.
I decided against this one.
-I am humbled.
Hell yes. I’m also a lot more sure of myself, though.
Four months is a long time. It's also not that long in the big picture, though. I'm just really grateful.
And Then There Were Four
Josh is in Uganda. Trevor, Sara, and Rose just left. So now it is only Melendy, Alainna, Kaliya, and me. I've said bye to almost everyone. I only have one more errand tomorrow, and that's to pick up a couple dresses I'm having made. I have sufficiently spent the majority of my funds, and I think I spent more on stuff to take home in the last few days that I did the rest of my time here. It's all very surreal.
Since my major responsibilities ended and I stopped having to deal with the issues we have had with the program, I have remembered how much I love Arusha. I'm going to miss it! I also can't wait to do laundry, though. I'm nervous about going home, as I'm sure I will have that anxious-I-don't-know-what-to-do-with-myself feeling that I get after every semester, except way worse because everything will be new again. Who knows. In 48 hours I'll be on my way :D
Since my major responsibilities ended and I stopped having to deal with the issues we have had with the program, I have remembered how much I love Arusha. I'm going to miss it! I also can't wait to do laundry, though. I'm nervous about going home, as I'm sure I will have that anxious-I-don't-know-what-to-do-with-myself feeling that I get after every semester, except way worse because everything will be new again. Who knows. In 48 hours I'll be on my way :D
Thursday, May 21, 2009
A Series of Ups and Downs
It’s the end, and it’s weird. On one hand I can’t wait to get home. On the other hand I’m really, really sad to leave. I don’t know if I will ever see a lot of these people again, and they have really changed my life.
Wednesday was my last day volunteering at Emusoi (the Maasai girl school). We danced a little bit and then they performed two dances that I taught them. One is a line dance to “Another Saturday Night” and the other is a Charleston dance to “A Well A Take ‘Em A Joe.” It was so great! I kind of realized that they have really enjoyed it and learned some sweet dances. I also realized that I speak half Kiswahili and half English to them and we have developed a really great relationship. After they performed (which they actually insisted after the first performance that they perform the songs again) they sang a Maasai song for me. They did Charleston to their Maasai song! It was amazing!
I think Kate, one of the women who runs it, took a lot of pictures that I will hopefully get later. Also, I want to write to them when I get home. They gave me a beautiful beaded cross. Even though I think maybe they don’t know that I’m not Christian, it was really beautiful and sweet. And then when I left a few of them cried! I felt so bad! I am going to miss them a lot.
Tuesday was a little rough in the morning because I saw a young girl (probably 12 or 13) get hit by a car. I don’t know how bad it was. She was alive afterwards, but she definitely wasn’t ok. I think to some extent I was horrified, but I think that after being here for a few months I’ve kind of…gotten my empathy under control? I don’t know if my heart has frozen a bit, or if maybe I have just learned the difference between positive and destructive caring. I just hope the girl is ok.
That happened on the way to Makumira where I had my music practical exam. It was so fun! I can actually play amadinda now! And it’s so hard! We performed two dances that we learned. The first we all kind of look like idiots doing, but the second one was pretty much the sweetest thing ever. Basically what happened was there were five or six people, a mix of students and teachers, playing drums while we danced. Liwewa would kind of chant things telling us what was coming next, and his performance skills are BANGIN. It was sweet. I am just really, really grateful for the students at Makumira. They are Tanzanian adults who took this class and spent time teaching us young white kids who can’t dance and don’t understand the meaning of the dances. It was such a fun class.
My other finals weren’t quite as wonderful, but they are wonderful now because they are over. I have one more take-home exam to finish. AND THEN I’M DONE! The unfortunate thing is that I literally don’t have any other thing that I have to be here for after today. That means that I am missing Frankie’s birthday in New York (frankie95.com) for nothing (except you know, getting the opportunity to live in Africa and all that…;) ). I imagine that flying back for it would be the biggest culture shock that has ever happened though, so I’m just going to try and focus on being here. Now that it’s all over the things that were frustrating before are hilarious (I mean, I’ve always thought it was hilarious) and I cannot wait to get home and tell everyone how simultaneously amazing and ridiculous this whole thing has been. Like honestly, Americans experiencing Tanzania for the first time has to be one of the funniest things that has ever happened.
The one unfortunate thing about right now is that I am about to kill the other students. I just want to chill and enjoy the last few days in Tanzania but I can’t even just sit in my own room without them bringing preteen drama into it (not all of them…but enough). I discovered that my door locks, though, and I will definitely be utilizing that function for the next few days :)
I’m so close! And then I get to see my cats and do laundry and hang out with Beth and Alec and dance and be outside at night and not always have people staring at me because I’m white…
Wednesday was my last day volunteering at Emusoi (the Maasai girl school). We danced a little bit and then they performed two dances that I taught them. One is a line dance to “Another Saturday Night” and the other is a Charleston dance to “A Well A Take ‘Em A Joe.” It was so great! I kind of realized that they have really enjoyed it and learned some sweet dances. I also realized that I speak half Kiswahili and half English to them and we have developed a really great relationship. After they performed (which they actually insisted after the first performance that they perform the songs again) they sang a Maasai song for me. They did Charleston to their Maasai song! It was amazing!
I think Kate, one of the women who runs it, took a lot of pictures that I will hopefully get later. Also, I want to write to them when I get home. They gave me a beautiful beaded cross. Even though I think maybe they don’t know that I’m not Christian, it was really beautiful and sweet. And then when I left a few of them cried! I felt so bad! I am going to miss them a lot.
Tuesday was a little rough in the morning because I saw a young girl (probably 12 or 13) get hit by a car. I don’t know how bad it was. She was alive afterwards, but she definitely wasn’t ok. I think to some extent I was horrified, but I think that after being here for a few months I’ve kind of…gotten my empathy under control? I don’t know if my heart has frozen a bit, or if maybe I have just learned the difference between positive and destructive caring. I just hope the girl is ok.
That happened on the way to Makumira where I had my music practical exam. It was so fun! I can actually play amadinda now! And it’s so hard! We performed two dances that we learned. The first we all kind of look like idiots doing, but the second one was pretty much the sweetest thing ever. Basically what happened was there were five or six people, a mix of students and teachers, playing drums while we danced. Liwewa would kind of chant things telling us what was coming next, and his performance skills are BANGIN. It was sweet. I am just really, really grateful for the students at Makumira. They are Tanzanian adults who took this class and spent time teaching us young white kids who can’t dance and don’t understand the meaning of the dances. It was such a fun class.
My other finals weren’t quite as wonderful, but they are wonderful now because they are over. I have one more take-home exam to finish. AND THEN I’M DONE! The unfortunate thing is that I literally don’t have any other thing that I have to be here for after today. That means that I am missing Frankie’s birthday in New York (frankie95.com) for nothing (except you know, getting the opportunity to live in Africa and all that…;) ). I imagine that flying back for it would be the biggest culture shock that has ever happened though, so I’m just going to try and focus on being here. Now that it’s all over the things that were frustrating before are hilarious (I mean, I’ve always thought it was hilarious) and I cannot wait to get home and tell everyone how simultaneously amazing and ridiculous this whole thing has been. Like honestly, Americans experiencing Tanzania for the first time has to be one of the funniest things that has ever happened.
The one unfortunate thing about right now is that I am about to kill the other students. I just want to chill and enjoy the last few days in Tanzania but I can’t even just sit in my own room without them bringing preteen drama into it (not all of them…but enough). I discovered that my door locks, though, and I will definitely be utilizing that function for the next few days :)
I’m so close! And then I get to see my cats and do laundry and hang out with Beth and Alec and dance and be outside at night and not always have people staring at me because I’m white…
Saturday, May 16, 2009
11 Days...?!?!?!
The past few days have been marked by inexplicable (or explicable by such a multiplicity of things that it is rendered inexplicable :) ) stress. It was partially cured yesterday when I went paragliding. I know, poor me, so stressed out. It was so sweet! Basically it's a couple of guys that have a truck and a parachute that drive us to the top of a huge hill, strap us on with them, and ride the wind over the canyon. I'm sure people will have pictures on facebook soon. It was awesome and only cost $25 a ride. In the States it would be a big, annoying, expensive endeavor involving training and signing things and scared to death with all the potential risks. Here it was more like driving up a tiny dirt road at 40 miles an hour and jumping off a mountain without any idea of how it was supposed to work. But it was still totally safe; the guy new what he was doing. I think I might have to devote my life to that too. If the wind is good, you can just use it as free, environmentally- friendly transportation.
In other news, my camera is M.I.A. and therefore every picture that I have taken this trip is also M.I.A. It will be really unfortunate if it doesn't turn up, but I'm trying not to freak.
Also, apparently there was another miscommunication (or lies...hard to tell) between Martha and the people who asked her about moving up the closing ceremony. She is now saying that we can't change it, even though only two people can go because everyone else has changed their flights and will be gone. :-/ oh well
It is really bizarre to be leaving. I'm realizing that I'm a pretty different person from when I left and going home is going to be wonderful and difficult. Also, I need to make money/find money that people want to give to me for doing the stuff that I want to do. I have been researching grants and scholarships for research or travel writing or something. If anyone has any ideas, please let me know.
Also, I'm really sorry that people haven't gotten letters or post cards. I have some, but any that I have sent haven't made it and I have just been hording them here. I think about you all a lot and I am really grateful for the letters I've gotten!
Lovely quote that I have thanks to Fran's sending a book along with Dad (Thanks so much Fran! I love you!):
"Sometimes happiness is a blessing, but, generally it is a conquest." - Paulo Coelho
In other news, my camera is M.I.A. and therefore every picture that I have taken this trip is also M.I.A. It will be really unfortunate if it doesn't turn up, but I'm trying not to freak.
Also, apparently there was another miscommunication (or lies...hard to tell) between Martha and the people who asked her about moving up the closing ceremony. She is now saying that we can't change it, even though only two people can go because everyone else has changed their flights and will be gone. :-/ oh well
It is really bizarre to be leaving. I'm realizing that I'm a pretty different person from when I left and going home is going to be wonderful and difficult. Also, I need to make money/find money that people want to give to me for doing the stuff that I want to do. I have been researching grants and scholarships for research or travel writing or something. If anyone has any ideas, please let me know.
Also, I'm really sorry that people haven't gotten letters or post cards. I have some, but any that I have sent haven't made it and I have just been hording them here. I think about you all a lot and I am really grateful for the letters I've gotten!
Lovely quote that I have thanks to Fran's sending a book along with Dad (Thanks so much Fran! I love you!):
"Sometimes happiness is a blessing, but, generally it is a conquest." - Paulo Coelho
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
More Thoughts
I don’t know if I have spent any time on this blog discussing how it has been to be around missionaries here. It’s bizarre. A bunch of my professors also teach at Makumira, which is a Lutheran University. One of my music professors is an American missionary with the Evangelical Lutheran church.
Alright. I don’t quite know where to start or how tactful to be about my opinions of missionaries. When I first got here I was open-minded about the missionaries that are here today. A lot of them talk about old missionaries in terms of their bad policies and consider themselves different. The role of missionaries has become much more complicated for me, but my experiences here have led me to the current opinion that I fundamentally disagree with the missionary role in Africa (and anywhere else).
Now, to all my Christian family members and friends, I’m not trying to be offensive. I have thought through this a lot. And to all you heathen ( :D )or not Christian family members and friends, please don’t use my opinions to strengthen a fanatic attempt to demonize Christianity or other religions. Although I disagree with missionaries, I don’t think religion or Christianity as a whole is wrong (in fact I think the opposite).
This is my struggle. I think that during colonization colonial governments were acting out the physical war and missionaries were acting out the ideological war. They were a tool, whether they knew it or not, that was meant to assimilate Africans into Western customs, erase the indigenous ones, and subjugate the population so that the European governments could use them for land and labor. Of course there were always exceptions to that extreme.
It seems as though the general missionary population that I have met agrees that the missionaries during colonization did a lot of bad s***. Missionaries today seem to try and evangelize without totally erasing the “not so bad” aspects of indigenous cultures. I don’t know that they would agree with my opinion that they were part of an ideological war, as my opinion is extreme.
So, what of the missionaries today? Most of them don’t outright say the words “uncivilized” or “primitive” and will actually talk about how awful those words are (except the other day a pastor I know did say that when he first got to the Maasai boy he knows, he gave him a toy truck – his first “real toy”…no more playing with “goat terds”). They don’t use violence to convert people. They build schools, have capacity building projects, and encourage the use of traditional African music in churches.
These things are inherently patronizing and conditional, though. First of all, we have definitely not reached the level of mutual respect. Even if we don’t use the words “uncivilized” or “primitive” we do use “undeveloped”. They are the same thing. Why don’t the missionaries try to convert me? I’m not Christian. I’m not complaining, but the only people that have ever pushed about my not being Christian were Tanzanians. So how come missionaries will convert Tanzanians and not me? Because I’m white? Because I can make up my own mind about things?
Today my fellow classmate and my professor referred to the large number of Maasai converts as “progress”. Progress towards what? Civilization? This is where my biggest problem is. Evangelism inherently brings the idea that the people who are doing the evangelizing are right and others are ignorant to the truth. I don’t believe in telling someone else that my culture or religion knows better than theirs, but I also don’t know what it is like to honestly believe that it is my duty to save people. How do you have a conversation about the effects of missionaries with someone who deeply believes that anyone who hasn’t accepted Jesus is going to hell? You can’t argue with G-d.
This is another source of struggle for me. I do have things that I think are right and wrong. I do believe that it’s my duty to do what I can to save someone’s life if I see them dieing. If I knew that millions of people were going to a horrible place for all of eternity unless I did something to stop it, I probably would. That just doesn’t happen to be what I believe. I am a universalist when it comes to human rights, though, so I do think that every human being should have certain human rights that are the same no matter the culture they are in. But who decides those rights? Who am I to say that I know the way people should do things in terms of human rights and then turn around and say that acting like you know more than other people is wrong when it comes to religion?
I could go on and on about my problem with missionaries and why I think they are more destructive than not. That’s not really my point right now, though. My point is that I’m really struggling with how to engage with all of this. I have pretty much sat through it with my mouth shut for the whole semester. I feel kind of guilty for not saying anything, but I also don’t want to alienate people before I have figured out how to best approach it.
One of the most interesting (and difficult) parts about all of this is that most Tanzanians either don’t share the same opinion as me or don’t say it to me (remind me, that’s a whole other story). For some reason I guess I expected African culture (whatever that means…I guess I mean I expected African cultureS) to be more similar to African American culture. They are SO different. Like, as weird as it feels to say, I truly feel like I connect with African American culture in a lot of ways. Those points of connection, though, are not things that are shared with Tanzanian culture. There doesn’t seem to be any anger here. Hardly anyone talks about colonizers very negatively, and it is really, really rare for anyone here to say anything but nice stuff about Westerners.
So all this time I feel like screaming, “DON’T ANY OF YOU SEE?! They came in and destroyed things, how can you not be mad? How can you keep the religion of the colonizers?” But that’s equally patronizing. It’s not like people here can’t see that and can’t choose their own religion. So I am just constantly stuck in between all these different ideas and I’m so hesitant to say anything even though deep down I know there are certain people that I want to punch in the face (not that I would do that, I’m a Peace Studies major ;D ).
As much as I hate to sound like that “F the po-lice”-stupid-hippy-girl, I don’t think colonization is over. I don’t mean this only in terms of missionaries; I am talking about a lot of things (including “development”, many NGOs, and corporations). I know this all sounds negative, but I am not saying any of this lightly or without serious consideration. I’m sure my opinion will continue to be fluid, but as of now, that’s what I think.
I haven’t written for a while because Dad came to visit! It was really, really awesome, and I want to write about it, but I’m tired of writing. The highlight, I would say, was going to Ngorongoro Crater. On the way home, I was taking a little nap in the car. We stopped at the entrance of the park as we were leaving to go to the bathroom, and I stayed in the car. I was half asleep when I suddenly realized that I was no longer dreaming and a giant baboon had climbed into the front seat and was right in front of me! Now, baboons are some scary animals. It probably weighed as much as me and it was hungry. Really hungry. Ok, I don’t really know that, but it was persistent. I got out of the car and was laughing and freaking out when out of the corner of my eye I see it try and make a break for it. The car door was open, Kaliya was still inside, and she starts screaming, “Don’t let it in here!!!” Dad and Peter, the driver, jumped in front of it and blocked its way. It was close, though, and the thing was pissed. As we were leaving we saw him jump into another car and all of those people freaked out too. I think Dad was satisfied with his trip to Africa after that and we pretty much watched movies for the rest of the time :)
What’s that you ask? How many days until I return home and grace you all with my soothing, enlightened presence? Oh, I don’t know…ONLY 15! And in this country today is almost over. So really I am coming home in two weeks. What’s up Massachusetts.
Alright. I don’t quite know where to start or how tactful to be about my opinions of missionaries. When I first got here I was open-minded about the missionaries that are here today. A lot of them talk about old missionaries in terms of their bad policies and consider themselves different. The role of missionaries has become much more complicated for me, but my experiences here have led me to the current opinion that I fundamentally disagree with the missionary role in Africa (and anywhere else).
Now, to all my Christian family members and friends, I’m not trying to be offensive. I have thought through this a lot. And to all you heathen ( :D )or not Christian family members and friends, please don’t use my opinions to strengthen a fanatic attempt to demonize Christianity or other religions. Although I disagree with missionaries, I don’t think religion or Christianity as a whole is wrong (in fact I think the opposite).
This is my struggle. I think that during colonization colonial governments were acting out the physical war and missionaries were acting out the ideological war. They were a tool, whether they knew it or not, that was meant to assimilate Africans into Western customs, erase the indigenous ones, and subjugate the population so that the European governments could use them for land and labor. Of course there were always exceptions to that extreme.
It seems as though the general missionary population that I have met agrees that the missionaries during colonization did a lot of bad s***. Missionaries today seem to try and evangelize without totally erasing the “not so bad” aspects of indigenous cultures. I don’t know that they would agree with my opinion that they were part of an ideological war, as my opinion is extreme.
So, what of the missionaries today? Most of them don’t outright say the words “uncivilized” or “primitive” and will actually talk about how awful those words are (except the other day a pastor I know did say that when he first got to the Maasai boy he knows, he gave him a toy truck – his first “real toy”…no more playing with “goat terds”). They don’t use violence to convert people. They build schools, have capacity building projects, and encourage the use of traditional African music in churches.
These things are inherently patronizing and conditional, though. First of all, we have definitely not reached the level of mutual respect. Even if we don’t use the words “uncivilized” or “primitive” we do use “undeveloped”. They are the same thing. Why don’t the missionaries try to convert me? I’m not Christian. I’m not complaining, but the only people that have ever pushed about my not being Christian were Tanzanians. So how come missionaries will convert Tanzanians and not me? Because I’m white? Because I can make up my own mind about things?
Today my fellow classmate and my professor referred to the large number of Maasai converts as “progress”. Progress towards what? Civilization? This is where my biggest problem is. Evangelism inherently brings the idea that the people who are doing the evangelizing are right and others are ignorant to the truth. I don’t believe in telling someone else that my culture or religion knows better than theirs, but I also don’t know what it is like to honestly believe that it is my duty to save people. How do you have a conversation about the effects of missionaries with someone who deeply believes that anyone who hasn’t accepted Jesus is going to hell? You can’t argue with G-d.
This is another source of struggle for me. I do have things that I think are right and wrong. I do believe that it’s my duty to do what I can to save someone’s life if I see them dieing. If I knew that millions of people were going to a horrible place for all of eternity unless I did something to stop it, I probably would. That just doesn’t happen to be what I believe. I am a universalist when it comes to human rights, though, so I do think that every human being should have certain human rights that are the same no matter the culture they are in. But who decides those rights? Who am I to say that I know the way people should do things in terms of human rights and then turn around and say that acting like you know more than other people is wrong when it comes to religion?
I could go on and on about my problem with missionaries and why I think they are more destructive than not. That’s not really my point right now, though. My point is that I’m really struggling with how to engage with all of this. I have pretty much sat through it with my mouth shut for the whole semester. I feel kind of guilty for not saying anything, but I also don’t want to alienate people before I have figured out how to best approach it.
One of the most interesting (and difficult) parts about all of this is that most Tanzanians either don’t share the same opinion as me or don’t say it to me (remind me, that’s a whole other story). For some reason I guess I expected African culture (whatever that means…I guess I mean I expected African cultureS) to be more similar to African American culture. They are SO different. Like, as weird as it feels to say, I truly feel like I connect with African American culture in a lot of ways. Those points of connection, though, are not things that are shared with Tanzanian culture. There doesn’t seem to be any anger here. Hardly anyone talks about colonizers very negatively, and it is really, really rare for anyone here to say anything but nice stuff about Westerners.
So all this time I feel like screaming, “DON’T ANY OF YOU SEE?! They came in and destroyed things, how can you not be mad? How can you keep the religion of the colonizers?” But that’s equally patronizing. It’s not like people here can’t see that and can’t choose their own religion. So I am just constantly stuck in between all these different ideas and I’m so hesitant to say anything even though deep down I know there are certain people that I want to punch in the face (not that I would do that, I’m a Peace Studies major ;D ).
As much as I hate to sound like that “F the po-lice”-stupid-hippy-girl, I don’t think colonization is over. I don’t mean this only in terms of missionaries; I am talking about a lot of things (including “development”, many NGOs, and corporations). I know this all sounds negative, but I am not saying any of this lightly or without serious consideration. I’m sure my opinion will continue to be fluid, but as of now, that’s what I think.
I haven’t written for a while because Dad came to visit! It was really, really awesome, and I want to write about it, but I’m tired of writing. The highlight, I would say, was going to Ngorongoro Crater. On the way home, I was taking a little nap in the car. We stopped at the entrance of the park as we were leaving to go to the bathroom, and I stayed in the car. I was half asleep when I suddenly realized that I was no longer dreaming and a giant baboon had climbed into the front seat and was right in front of me! Now, baboons are some scary animals. It probably weighed as much as me and it was hungry. Really hungry. Ok, I don’t really know that, but it was persistent. I got out of the car and was laughing and freaking out when out of the corner of my eye I see it try and make a break for it. The car door was open, Kaliya was still inside, and she starts screaming, “Don’t let it in here!!!” Dad and Peter, the driver, jumped in front of it and blocked its way. It was close, though, and the thing was pissed. As we were leaving we saw him jump into another car and all of those people freaked out too. I think Dad was satisfied with his trip to Africa after that and we pretty much watched movies for the rest of the time :)
What’s that you ask? How many days until I return home and grace you all with my soothing, enlightened presence? Oh, I don’t know…ONLY 15! And in this country today is almost over. So really I am coming home in two weeks. What’s up Massachusetts.
Sunday, May 3, 2009
:)
As my time here is coming to a close, I’m realizing that I am going to miss it so much. I’m also coming to terms with the fact that my study abroad being over marks a new phase. I have been thinking about being here for so long, and now I’m remembering that more stuff happens next. I don’t know if other people can relate, but the fact that this is my last summer is a big deal. Of course there will be other summers, and there may be other summer breaks, but this might be the last year that I think of myself as a child on summer vacation.
I find myself thinking that I have one more year to be a kid, and even though I know that largely depends on the way I choose to look at things, I start to panic. This semester has helped me see (I think) that I’m kind of an adult already. Yesterday a music video came on the television and I realized that the pop singers are almost all younger than me now. It’s not like I am looking at the TV and thinking, “Oh, when I’m there age…” Now I’m just like, where are these kids’ parents? How badly could your 15-year-old heart have been broken? And, do these people have any idea how their little play-time filming an extravagant music video is impacting the culture here? But, I digress.
My point, if I have one, is that one of this semester’s themes has been growing up. I’ve noticed that every semester has a theme or two that describes what area of life I learned the most about. It’s like I’m in an old “Seventh Heaven” episode where all the subplots relate and conveniently tie together at the end. Some past themes have included attachment, death, love, time, privilege, and priorities. This semester has had a few, but growing up is a huge one. When I get home I am going to be almost done with college.
I’ve noticed that everyone has ways of organizing their personal history and future in their minds. Little kids in the States often say things like, “But that was when I was 4-years-old, now I’m 5-years old,” or, “I’m a second grader now.” Some people mark it with religious ceremonies, prom, graduations, or marriage. Some people organize their lives around tragedy and spend the time in between torturing themselves with the past and bracing themselves for the future.
Even though I have been learning to stay in the present, nearing the end of college has forced me to come face-to-face with the time line I have put my life on. It ends after college. That may sound naïve, but everything up until now was laid out for me. I have made choices that have lead me to where I am, but at age 10 I probably could have told you that I would go to school the next year, have a summer beak, go to school again, have a break, and continue that until I was 22. My choices became obsolete after a few months because another year of school came. But next year, I’m stepping into groundlessness.
I’m not that stressed out about it, I’m just more in awe of how I got here. And I don’t have any way of predicting the future. I can’t count on another summer break or another year of school. The time after I graduate isn’t divided into clear chunks – it’s an abyss (“And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you” – Yeaahh Nietzsche). I don’t know what I’m going to do after I graduate, or if I’ll get married, or how much more school I will do. Even if I could know the things I'll do, I have no way of determining when.
Being here, or maybe being anywhere but in the realm of close familiarity, has definitely solidified who I am. I know what I care about, what I want, and what I believe. It’s also a lot clearer what I don’t know, and that’s a lot. It’s SO weird being the oldest out of the group. I know I keep saying that, but it is really weird. (Side note – I’m so happy Melendy and I are roommates. I love her. We are both the oldest and I have never been in a situation where the age gap was so exaggerated. I feel weird saying that, as I have a long history of not associating age and maturity, but I think we have all agreed that it’s true)
I was doing a project for a class last year that involved me interviewing people close to me about my own strengths and weaknesses. One of the things Mom told me was that she thinks I sometimes don’t recognize that older people have experience and know a lot that I don’t know they know. I think I have changed that at least a little, and I’ve realized that everyone does things for a reason. People don’t just go around doing things. I feel like I’m on the opposite end now, because some of my friends here don’t seem to realize that there is more to a situation beyond what they can see. That’s not just culturally and in terms of age, but in all circumstances. Someone doing something that doesn’t make sense to you does not make that person stupid. At the same time, though, I’m learning that my friends have reasons for not yet being able to see other people’s reasons.
Anyway, enough ranting for one post. Dad is coming! I feel like I’m about to have a child and experience life all over again through their eyes. Ahaha, it’s true! Everything will be new to him and I will discover new things because he will see things differently than me. I even feel really protective. It’s bizarre.
A really good quote that my professor, Ailish, told me a few years ago. I forget who said it, “Transformation is not about what you get, it’s about what you give up.”
Random things about Tanzania that don't want to forget:
-Everyone goes out to the clubs, and it isn’t weird that professors and students are both there.
-Personal space doesn’t exist. Privacy doesn’t exist.
-There is a very, very small number of girls that wear pants, and a lot of them wear congas over their pants.
-“Ninakupenda” means both “I love you” and “I like you” in Swahili, so people tell you they love you all the time (and I never really know if they really mean they LOVE me, as I hear it, or if they mean they like me, or if maybe neither of those concepts exist in a way that is comparable to home). They also say they miss you all the time.
-Everyone is your brother and your sister. If a child’s parents die, the friends, neighbors, or family members raise them. Most families have at least a few orphans (or kids who’s parents can’t support them) living with them.
-If you say that you will go to someone’s house, you go to their house. None of this, “Oh yeah, that’d be cool…”
-Everyone holds hands. So much hand holding.
-If I go somewhere – like to the school I volunteer at, for instance – people want to carry my bags for me.
-If I am sweaty someone else will wipe it off. Not a joke.
-If you ask someone how old they are, they often have to think about what year they were born and count. Birthdays aren’t really a thing here.
-I've been asked if I'm Black American more than once or twice.
-The other day I was walking home from school and a couple started talking to me. They introduced themselves and asked me to come see their home so that I know where they live. It was getting dark, and I wondered if maybe I shouldn’t be walking into a back alley with strangers, but they were really nice. We talked for a minute and they really wanted me to come have dinner with them at some point. They walked me home and were really, really nice.
I find myself thinking that I have one more year to be a kid, and even though I know that largely depends on the way I choose to look at things, I start to panic. This semester has helped me see (I think) that I’m kind of an adult already. Yesterday a music video came on the television and I realized that the pop singers are almost all younger than me now. It’s not like I am looking at the TV and thinking, “Oh, when I’m there age…” Now I’m just like, where are these kids’ parents? How badly could your 15-year-old heart have been broken? And, do these people have any idea how their little play-time filming an extravagant music video is impacting the culture here? But, I digress.
My point, if I have one, is that one of this semester’s themes has been growing up. I’ve noticed that every semester has a theme or two that describes what area of life I learned the most about. It’s like I’m in an old “Seventh Heaven” episode where all the subplots relate and conveniently tie together at the end. Some past themes have included attachment, death, love, time, privilege, and priorities. This semester has had a few, but growing up is a huge one. When I get home I am going to be almost done with college.
I’ve noticed that everyone has ways of organizing their personal history and future in their minds. Little kids in the States often say things like, “But that was when I was 4-years-old, now I’m 5-years old,” or, “I’m a second grader now.” Some people mark it with religious ceremonies, prom, graduations, or marriage. Some people organize their lives around tragedy and spend the time in between torturing themselves with the past and bracing themselves for the future.
Even though I have been learning to stay in the present, nearing the end of college has forced me to come face-to-face with the time line I have put my life on. It ends after college. That may sound naïve, but everything up until now was laid out for me. I have made choices that have lead me to where I am, but at age 10 I probably could have told you that I would go to school the next year, have a summer beak, go to school again, have a break, and continue that until I was 22. My choices became obsolete after a few months because another year of school came. But next year, I’m stepping into groundlessness.
I’m not that stressed out about it, I’m just more in awe of how I got here. And I don’t have any way of predicting the future. I can’t count on another summer break or another year of school. The time after I graduate isn’t divided into clear chunks – it’s an abyss (“And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you” – Yeaahh Nietzsche). I don’t know what I’m going to do after I graduate, or if I’ll get married, or how much more school I will do. Even if I could know the things I'll do, I have no way of determining when.
Being here, or maybe being anywhere but in the realm of close familiarity, has definitely solidified who I am. I know what I care about, what I want, and what I believe. It’s also a lot clearer what I don’t know, and that’s a lot. It’s SO weird being the oldest out of the group. I know I keep saying that, but it is really weird. (Side note – I’m so happy Melendy and I are roommates. I love her. We are both the oldest and I have never been in a situation where the age gap was so exaggerated. I feel weird saying that, as I have a long history of not associating age and maturity, but I think we have all agreed that it’s true)
I was doing a project for a class last year that involved me interviewing people close to me about my own strengths and weaknesses. One of the things Mom told me was that she thinks I sometimes don’t recognize that older people have experience and know a lot that I don’t know they know. I think I have changed that at least a little, and I’ve realized that everyone does things for a reason. People don’t just go around doing things. I feel like I’m on the opposite end now, because some of my friends here don’t seem to realize that there is more to a situation beyond what they can see. That’s not just culturally and in terms of age, but in all circumstances. Someone doing something that doesn’t make sense to you does not make that person stupid. At the same time, though, I’m learning that my friends have reasons for not yet being able to see other people’s reasons.
Anyway, enough ranting for one post. Dad is coming! I feel like I’m about to have a child and experience life all over again through their eyes. Ahaha, it’s true! Everything will be new to him and I will discover new things because he will see things differently than me. I even feel really protective. It’s bizarre.
A really good quote that my professor, Ailish, told me a few years ago. I forget who said it, “Transformation is not about what you get, it’s about what you give up.”
Random things about Tanzania that don't want to forget:
-Everyone goes out to the clubs, and it isn’t weird that professors and students are both there.
-Personal space doesn’t exist. Privacy doesn’t exist.
-There is a very, very small number of girls that wear pants, and a lot of them wear congas over their pants.
-“Ninakupenda” means both “I love you” and “I like you” in Swahili, so people tell you they love you all the time (and I never really know if they really mean they LOVE me, as I hear it, or if they mean they like me, or if maybe neither of those concepts exist in a way that is comparable to home). They also say they miss you all the time.
-Everyone is your brother and your sister. If a child’s parents die, the friends, neighbors, or family members raise them. Most families have at least a few orphans (or kids who’s parents can’t support them) living with them.
-If you say that you will go to someone’s house, you go to their house. None of this, “Oh yeah, that’d be cool…”
-Everyone holds hands. So much hand holding.
-If I go somewhere – like to the school I volunteer at, for instance – people want to carry my bags for me.
-If I am sweaty someone else will wipe it off. Not a joke.
-If you ask someone how old they are, they often have to think about what year they were born and count. Birthdays aren’t really a thing here.
-I've been asked if I'm Black American more than once or twice.
-The other day I was walking home from school and a couple started talking to me. They introduced themselves and asked me to come see their home so that I know where they live. It was getting dark, and I wondered if maybe I shouldn’t be walking into a back alley with strangers, but they were really nice. We talked for a minute and they really wanted me to come have dinner with them at some point. They walked me home and were really, really nice.
Saturday, May 2, 2009
25 Days!
How crazy is that?! It would be 30, but due to some scheduling changes I am now leaving on the 27th of May and getting home the 28th. I am SO excited!
This morning I ate breakfast with Rich Conroy, the logistics manager at Arcadia's study abroad office. Martha is possibly going to a conference in London this week, so he came to hang around while she is gone. I only had one meal with him, but he seems like he is totally awesome. He is really cool and genuine and they should probably just have him run CEA. It is weird to have someone from the States here because it makes me remember how different everything seemed when I first got here.
And Dad comes on Monday! Woohoo! It looks like this will be my busiest week so far, but once I get through the work I have to do today, I think I will be good.
Thursday night my friends Marjana and Laura slept over. Marjana is from Finland and Laura is from Chicago. They are studying theology at Makumira for the semester. I really, really like them because they have very similar understanding of the role of missionaries (historically and today) as me, but they are religious. I think it's important that there are people here who are both religious and not on a mission. Also, we have a lot of interesting conversations because they are having totally different experiences than I am because they live on campus.
Mostly I'm just really excited that Dad is coming and I am going to see everyone from home soon. If there is anyone out there who wants me to teach them Swahili, please tell me because I am going to need a way of practicing.
<3
Sarah
This morning I ate breakfast with Rich Conroy, the logistics manager at Arcadia's study abroad office. Martha is possibly going to a conference in London this week, so he came to hang around while she is gone. I only had one meal with him, but he seems like he is totally awesome. He is really cool and genuine and they should probably just have him run CEA. It is weird to have someone from the States here because it makes me remember how different everything seemed when I first got here.
And Dad comes on Monday! Woohoo! It looks like this will be my busiest week so far, but once I get through the work I have to do today, I think I will be good.
Thursday night my friends Marjana and Laura slept over. Marjana is from Finland and Laura is from Chicago. They are studying theology at Makumira for the semester. I really, really like them because they have very similar understanding of the role of missionaries (historically and today) as me, but they are religious. I think it's important that there are people here who are both religious and not on a mission. Also, we have a lot of interesting conversations because they are having totally different experiences than I am because they live on campus.
Mostly I'm just really excited that Dad is coming and I am going to see everyone from home soon. If there is anyone out there who wants me to teach them Swahili, please tell me because I am going to need a way of practicing.
<3
Sarah
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